A Song For TSA

(Update) TSA and XeNonX go song-to-song for a laugh - except we want to win.

Our new friend over at XeNonX challenged us to a bit of a ‘parody off’ earlier this week, so after one of readers picked the song I set about writing the words. And then I managed to sweet-talk someone into singing it for me (Gill you are a star!) and so here we are.

The competing song!

The song is The Proclaimers I’m Gonna Be (500 miles). We’ve taken this and – thanks to Nofi’s inspiration – turned into a little story about a character from a newly announced game: Fat Princess.

XeNonX’s effort will be along shortly and we’ll update when we get it. Please check it out and let us know what you think of both efforts in the comments below.  Anyway, I proudly present A Fat Princess (500 pounds). Lyrics below, and if you want to hear it, check out the MP3: actually, there is no longer an MP3 because apparently it’s illegal.

When I woke up, well I thought I’m gonna be,
I’m gonna be the girl who eats all of the pies
When I have lunch, yeah I know I’m eatin’ for,
I’m eatin’ for the guys who come to rescue me

If I get full, well I know there’s some more room,
I’m gonna be the girl who eats pies just for you
If I get out, well I know where we will go
I’m gonna take you to the Chinese takeaway

But I would gain 500 pounds
And I would gain 500 more
Just to be the girl who gained 1,000 pounds
Woops!  Can’t fit through you door

When I’m eatin’, yes I know I’m eatin’ for,
I’m eatin’ for the man who’s workin’ hard for me
And the rescue, when the rescue comes for me,
I’ll give up all the spare pies I have left to you

When I get home, (when I get home) oh I know I’m gonna be,
I’m gonna be the girl who needs to buy WiiFit
And when I lose weight, well I know I’m losin’ weight,
I’m gonna be the girl who’s losin’ weight for you

But I would lose 500 pounds
And I would lose 500 more
Just to be the girl who lost 1,000 pounds
And so fit through your door

pie and chips, pie and chips
pie and chips, pie and chips
da-la-la da-da-da da-da, pie, pie, pie
pie and chips, pie and chips
pie and chips, pie and chips
da-la-la da-da-da da-da, pie, pie, pie
When I’m hungry, well I know I’ll have to wait,
I know I’ll have to wait ’til you have made my tea
And when I’m starving, well I know I will not starve
I’ll never starve because you always make my tea

When we go out, (when we go out) well I know we’re going for,
We’re going for the food that makes us what we are
And when we get home, (when we get home) yes I know I’m gonna wear,
I’m gonna wear the top that I can now fit in
I’m gonna wear the top that’s waitin’ home for you.

But I did lose 500 pounds
And I did lose 500 more
Just to be the girl who lost 1,000 pounds
And so looks like a whore

fruit and veg, fruit and veg
fruit and veg, fruit and veg
da-la-la da-da-da da-da, fruit and veg
thin thin thin, thin thin thin
thin thin thin, thin thin thin
da-la-la da-da-da da-da, thin, thin, thin
tired and hungry, and hungry
tired and hungry, and hungry
da-la-la da-da-da da-da, pie, pie, pie
give me food, give me food
give me food, give me food
da-la-la da-da-da da-da, give me food

But I did lose 500 pounds
And I did lose 500 more
Just to be the girl who lost 1,000 pounds
And so looks like a wh-ore-ore

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