Friday Fight #5

I know, i know, it’s not Friday. But it is Boxing Day, get it? I’ll get my coat…Anyhoo, last week saw Cole meet a formidable opponent in the shape of Resident Evil’s Nemesis and the big ugly pulverised Cole with 25 votes to 7! It wasn’t even a fight really, it was more like watching a Rottweiler eating an electrically-charged mouse.

Cole took the Nemesis’ speed for granted and made no attempt to sneak up on one the one-eyed genetically modified freak. In an attempt to be lairy and humerous, Cole said “I’ll let you have a head start”, but unfortunately for Cole the Nemesis misheard him and replied with a single question; “S.T.A.R.S?” Before Cole realised what had happened the Nemesis had already equipped a rocket launcher and fired 2 rockets in Cole’s direction. At the last minute Cole tried to repel the incoming doom but he was too late. If you wish to pay your respects to Cole, his remains can found in several places in Racoon City.

This week we have NEMESIS VS. KRATOS. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Kratos has already been a contender”. You would be correct but technically neither he nor Snake won that fight so their names get thrown back into the Friday Fight hat.

Nemesis Pros:

• Coakroach-like resilience
• Skilled with weapons, especially rocket launchers
• A long reach with massive hands and unbelieveable strength
• Won’t stop until he’s completed his mission
• Good with children
• Victorious over Cole McGrath

Kratos Pros:

• Angrier than a rabid badger
• Go-faster stripe for intimidation
• Two extremely sharp blades seared to his wrists via chains which can be used in all manners of destructive and violent ways
• Magic powers, including lightning attacks
• Penchant for ripping limbs off bodies and shoving them back down their owner’s throat

Nemesis Cons:

• You can hear him from a mile away
• One eye
• Dodgy outfit

Kratos Cons:

• Sluggish at times and a little slow
• Limited attack range
• Silly beard