Dave Perry’s Gaming Clichés

"You can't see your feet."

Published 22/02/2010 at 16:30.
By Tuffcub.

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Dave Perry, ex God Of War-er ex Shiny Person and all round industry hero has written a book on game design and GameCareerGuide have posted an extract in which Dave lists his hated gaming clichés. There are pages of them so here are my pick of his observations:

Enemy Clichés

Whenever a monster is big enough and powerful enough to level a city by itself, it is also stupid, brutal, violent, and bestial. It is invulnerable to weapons until a) an accumulation of attacks wears it down, b) just the “right” weapon is discovered, c) it can be lured into some deathtrap, d) it can be driven back where it came from, or e) it falls in love with a human woman, which is its downfall.
Enemies don’t seem to react when one of their group is dropped by a high-powered sniper shot. They just stand around as if nothing happened.
Most criminal or enemy organizations are building a secret weapon of immense power.

Objects and the Environment Clichés

Walls that can be destroyed have special cracks or other distinct textures in them. Likewise, secret passages are generally discernible by walls with special markings. And walls that can be climbed must have a different texture from ordinary walls, which cannot be climbed.
Some environments can contain a lot of doors, but most of them won’t open.

Non Player Chracter Clichés

Children cannot be killed or even injured, but they can succumb to various conditions or diseases that must be cured.
Dwarves in games always have long, shaggy beards and heavy eyebrows, and they carry axes.
Aliens always want to destroy the Earth or at least enslave the human population. They never want to run for Congress or open an alien fast-food chain.

Martial Arts Clichés

Female characters generally wear tight or sexy outfits — often short skirts
A well-timed (and properly positioned) block will stop almost any type of attack.
Male characters are often absurdly buffed and muscular.

RPG Clichés

The main character is usually a kid. The kid’s parents are usually dead or are killed at the beginning of the story. The kid was raised by an aunt and uncle, grandparent, or some other “guardian” (who often knows the kid’s destiny). Usually there is only one guardian figure, though occasionally there can be two.
Even if the main character is a soldier in the king’s army, he’s still a kid.
Party members will invariably include some combination of: An old wizard or mage , A spunky girl, A runaway princess, A tough-talking female warrior or a rogue, A mysterious but adorable girl with locked powers who is the last of her kind anywhere and who has a tragic story, A guy with a tragic past, Someone who will turn out to be a spy or will betray the hero, A “cute” character who is more annoying than helpful, A surface-tough character who is really a sweetheart underneath
People don’t seem too concerned that you walk around their towns and even inside their houses carrying nasty weapons in your hands.
Villains often have the uncanny ability to materialize and dematerialize at will, but only when it suits the plot. Their teleportation abilities are inconsistent and only apply when the designers want you to have an encounter with the villain without having any opportunity to fight, or, if there is a fight, without having an opportunity to win.
Legends, predictions, and prophecies are always true.

FPS Clichés

Walking causes an exaggerated bobbing effect.
There’s a single melee mode (such as your fists).
You can’t see your feet.
Female characters have overly endowed, jiggle-prone, ultra-mobile breasts.
There are stereotypical representations of race/class/ethnicity.

Fore more words of wisdom why not grab a copy of Dave.s book from Amazon.

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glennpfc | 22/02/2010 16:37
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415 TSA Points | Member since: Forever

Ex-God of war? What…do you mean Jaffe? Perry made Earthworm Jim and stuff
- Tuffcub | 22/02/2010 16:43
  Team TSA: Writer
  6050 TSA Points | Member since: Dec 2008
  
  Shhhhh!!!
  - glennpfc | 22/02/2010 16:48
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    415 TSA Points | Member since: Forever
    
    Ha sorry buddy :P Been looking at the full list, i’m not sure if he is saying cliches are bad or not? Also plenty of these cliches have been taken from films in the first place…anyway really odd abstract list of stuff.
dirtyhabit | 22/02/2010 16:39
Member
1758 TSA Points | Member since: Forever

Some crackers there.

But its missing Bulletproof light bulbs. I hate that…….
- Tuffcub | 22/02/2010 16:43
  Team TSA: Writer
  6050 TSA Points | Member since: Dec 2008
  
  Actually that is in his full list :)
BrendanCalls | 22/02/2010 16:42
Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc - YOHIMBÉ!!!
2612 TSA Points | Member since: Forever

HAHA, loved the FPS one, “You cant see your feet”
Dave Perry is one of my new favourite people in the gaming industry, this was brilliant, Thanks TC
X201 | 22/02/2010 16:44
Member
505 TSA Points | Member since: May 2009

It’s by David Perry..

Dave Perry was the prat with the bandanna on Gamemaster.
- glennpfc | 22/02/2010 16:52
  Member
  415 TSA Points | Member since: Forever
  
  I’m sure he doesnt mind being called Dave :P But yes….those guys are not the same ha.
  - funkyellowmonkey(ps3 id) | 22/02/2010 22:25
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    lol :)
Kled | 22/02/2010 16:45
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88 TSA Points | Member since: Feb 2010

Nice list, alltho there’s always exceptions to these clichés.
hazelam | 22/02/2010 17:00
Member
6260 TSA Points | Member since: Feb 2009

i would have to question one of the statements in the fps section with, what female characters?
have you ever played half life 2?
not only do you not see your feet, you don’t even see your hands controlling the vehicle you’re driving in the driving sections, the wheel/stick, just moves on it’s own like freeman has developed telekinesis or something.
and in the first section, there should be an f: attack it’s weak point for massive damage :)
oh and one last addition, in beat em ups, school girls can stand toe to toe in a fight with huge, trained martial artists blokes, and beat them, though i’m a fan of that rule :)
- hazelam | 22/02/2010 17:07
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  6260 TSA Points | Member since: Feb 2009
  
  oh and, no matter how powerful a weapon you have there is no force stronger than a locked wooden door, why’d you think they stopped the aliens in signs, they can travel across intersteller space but even they haven’t got the technology to break through a locked wooden door.
3shirts | 22/02/2010 17:08
Member
4310 TSA Points | Member since: Aug 2008

A lot of those are slightly lazy observational humour. Yes climbable walls are textured differently and breakable walls have cracks but how frustrating would some games be if that wasn’t the case.

And I really wouldn’t WANT to be able to go into every house in Liberty City, that would be immensely tedius and fill the disk with pointless interiors
- Baxteros | 22/02/2010 17:58
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  340 TSA Points | Member since: Jul 2009
  
  They wouldn’t have to model the interiors, just add doorbells and spy holes to the doors and set it so that nobody answers before 5 and nobody opens the door to you ever.
Baxteros | 22/02/2010 17:57
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340 TSA Points | Member since: Jul 2009

I find a lot of locked doors in real life too.
Spotter5 | 22/02/2010 18:12
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You can see your feet in AvP.
- tantalus_blank | 22/02/2010 22:37
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  1048 TSA Points | Member since: Nov 2008
  
  and mirror’s edge
guinan | 22/02/2010 18:51
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130 TSA Points | Member since: Aug 2009

Some of my favorites:
- RPG: Even when your fame is legendary throughout the land and everybody knows you are the sole hope remaining to save the world, shopkeepers will charge full price for everything and will never, ever give you anything free, even if it might spell the difference between the world’s ultimate survival and utter defeat.
- FPS: Enemies never carry anything but weapons and ammo, and possibly the odd med kit — certainly never anything interesting, like a photo of their kids at home or their girlfriend.
- Puzzle: Tetris-based. Yes, Tetris is practically a cliché in itself.