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ESRB Smut Watch

Metal Gear: Bisexual.

Once again I have trawled the ratings description from the ESRB to give you a handy condensed guide on which games you should avoid to keep both mind and spirit pure. It is certainly not an excuse just have a titter at the ESRB’s superb descriptions.

We at The Sixth Axis abhor smut and suggest you avoid it all costs. If you are a filthy smut fiend please say a Hail Mary in the comments section below and we shall pray for you on Sunday when the Reverend Nofi leads us in eight hours of self-flagellation and worship.

This week features skirt lifting, large amounts of buttocks and Snake – and I can barely type this it’s so disusting –  Snake  goes.. gay. Eurgh. Dirty animal! Just the thought if such acts makes me vomit.*

  • Sengoku BASARA Samurai Heroes – Some female characters wear revealing outfits that expose some cleavage; one character’s breasts jiggle slightly when she moves.
  • Castlevania Harmony of Despair – Some female creatures (succubi and harpies) wear revealing outfits that expose a lot of cleavage; one enemy’s vacuum attack causes a heroine’s skirt to be rise up frequently.
  • Hot Shots Tennis: Get a Grip –Some female avatars have tight bodysuits that depict moderate cleavage, and one line judge is described as “the seductive superlady” with a profile that asks, “How long before the court is mobbed by men wanting to steal a look?”
  • Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker – Players can also engage in extra missions (“extra ops”) that involve dating either a male or female character: Players can take pictures of their female dates in bikinis, touch a character’s breasts, or lie on top of him or her on the beach. If players enter a cardboard box (“Love Pack”), a rustling motion and moaning sounds occur.
  • Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D’s Decade Duels – Some of the cards depict female characters in somewhat revealing skin-tight clothing, including a winking nurse character in front of a background of hearts.
  • Deathspank – The dialogue contains some mild sexual references such as “He says you are a psychotic dominatrix and not in the good way”; “Between the heart palpitations and the unchecked syphilis, it’s the least of my worries”;
  • Tehra Dark Warrior –Tehra is depicted briefly in cutscene still images wearing an outfit that reveals a significant amount of cleavage. During gameplay, Tehra wears a thong-like costume that exposes large amounts of her buttocks.
  • Bloody Good Time – Some female characters are depicted in bikinis, low-cut clothing, bunny outfits, and showgirl costumes that expose a lot of cleavage. A movie set displays a call sheet that details a bedroom scene, with the text “Please Note: As this scene involves nudity, ONLY the involved actors, the assigned camera op and the director should be present.”

Source: ESRB

*Note for those of you who are new around here: I am a fully practising homsexual. This is humour, not homophobia. I love c*ck.

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26 Comments
  1. BIGAL-1992
    Member
    Since: Jan 2009

    I had to laugh at this, especially the disclaimer and the MGS:Peace walker part.

    Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 17:04.
  2. haz360
    Member
    Since: Forever

    Brilliant! LMAO at the disclaimer at the bottom.

    Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 17:05.
  3. Jones81
    Member
    Since: Mar 2010

    Ha! quality, I needed a good Friday chuckle. Good work Tuffcub lol

    Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 17:06.
  4. Charmed_Fanatic
    Member
    Since: Aug 2009

    LOL these people need lives … god … :|

    Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 17:07.
  5. yogh_wayne
    Member
    Since: Oct 2008

    The developers of those games should be ashamed ;)

    Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 17:24.
  6. STILLCANTTHINKOFAGOODPSNNAME
    Member
    Since: Mar 2010

    erm wont somebody thin of the children

    Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 17:48.
    • Mick939
      Member
      Since: Forever

      Thin off the children. Your right there’s far too many about

      Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 20:57.
      • rht992
        Member
        Since: Apr 2009

        this isn’t’ going to end well . . .

        Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 22:02.
  7. BioEye
    Team TSA: Writer
    Since: Forever

    Many babies saw more than just “moderate cleavage” when they were breastfed.

    Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 17:51.
    • gurglesletch
      Member
      Since: Jul 2009

      lol

      Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 18:04.
  8. newsky87
    Member
    Since: Apr 2010

    “Between the heart palpitations and the unchecked syphilis, it’s the least of my worries”

    Hehe, tell me about it! Whoops, er, I mean… Hail Mary

    Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 17:57.
  9. Rob92
    Member
    Since: Dec 2008

    Ha brilliant.

    Comment posted on 18/06/2010 at 17:59.