Whilst I’m quite clearly not a huge fan of talking about myself, plenty of you lot are happy to do so. This time it’s the turn of Roynaldo in the luxurious leather armchair.
Roy looks particularly petrified in that chap's arms.
Right, are we sitting comfortably?
Then I’ll begin! Who are you, how old are you and where do you come from?
Lee (Roy) Durrant, 29 years 386 days old and dwell from the largish town of Uttoxeter, Staffordshire.
Wait, 386 days? I think your calendar might have extra months in it…
I now make custom calendars for people breaching unwanted milestones. Visit my website for details.
Do you also offer little lifeclocks for people’s palms that light up when it’s time to move on? [Readers... Name that film!]
No secondary offers just yet, but I’m working on ways to profit on others’ misery. The calendars are a good start.
Misery is certainly a market that could take more exploiting. You’ve got quite an unusual online username, considering that it’s vastly different to your actual name. Where did it come from?
Roy is my nickname. At school a bunch of people decided to call me Leroy after Leroy Brown, though I’ve no idea why. In the end it was shortened to Roy, and I now actually prefer to be called Roy over my real name. Possibly a deed poll is needed in the future!
As for the ‘naldo’ bit… when I finally got home Internet, I hooked up my PlayStation and was told to create a name. With Ronaldo being the star player at my football team I thought I’d be a bit clever and mix the two. Hence Roynaldo.
Ryan Martin will tell you how many FIFA players love my username. Its something of a marvel to them, which we both giggle about when playing for TSA’s pro club.
It’s a pretty good mash-up! I hear deed poll is pretty cheap these days, what would your surname be?
Never thought about changing my surname but I do love Cumberbatch (Benedict from Sherlock).
So you’d be Roy Cumberbatch? Interesting.
Maybe Lionheart (Squall from Final Fantasy VIII). That’d be cool.
Roy Lionheart. Sounds positively medieval!
Actually it is spelt Leonhart I believe but I can’t help but pronounce it that way.
Tell us, how did you first get into gaming?
Wow, will have to cast myself back quite a long time now….
Oh! Can we get a swirly, yet cheesy, transition to this flashback?
I was 5 or 6. Playing a Tandy, I cant remember the name of the game but it was a text based RPG searching for keys and treasures getting very lost in the process. The other game was Phantom Slayer, which scared the life out of me.
I’m just imagining a tiny version of you in golden-brown corduroys and a patterned sleeveless jumper hiding behind a chair from some ASCII monsters. I have an active imagination.
It’s not a bad guess to be fair but my sisters were the ones screaming at the TV while I ran my arse off.
Save yourself! How did you get from there to the PS3? Did you jump on the PlayStation brand right from the start?
The Commodore 64 was the next step. This is when I started making my own games using Basic, things like pong and other simple stuff but also the marvelous discovery of Klax, Vindicator, Flimbos Quest and other such classics.
From there it was two Master Systems, two Mega Drives, before introducing myself to the PlayStation brand and the almighty Final Fantasy franchise.
Two of each? What happened to them?
In the old days you didn’t have system failures, just slimmer versions of the current consoles, which also didn’t break. I’m looking at you PS3 slim!
Ah, I see! So, obviously, PlayStation introduced you to Final Fantasy, as you say. Which one is your favourite?
I’m undecided. That question is often asked to me but I will not give a definitive answer because I love them all separately as they are all separate games running on a theme.
Has there been one that’s disappointed you? I know lots of people don’t like some parts of XIII, and I think that VIII is often looked down upon, from VII’s high horse!
There is only one Final Fantasy I have played once which I suppose is because it is my least favourite. Final Fantasy X-2.
That was the first direct sequel, wasn’t it? Where did it go wrong?
I am a man, a man who games, I want to kill stuff and flex my muscles in the face of danger, not switch dresspheres and prance around looking for my lost love.
Dresspheres don’t sound too encouraging on that front… What’s your favourite, non-FF game or franchise?
There are so many games I love and all for entirely different reasons, however my love for RPGs never seems to fade.
So Mass Effect is right up there on my list as one of the greatest experiences I have had but on the flip side Killzone 2 is special to me. Mainly because I spent about 400 hours online with the TSA clan.
I thought you might say Killzone 2. I always like to ask if there are any truly awful, or embarrassing games that you’ve played in your time?
The most embarrassing purchase maybe. I went through a stage in 2010 where I bought on impulse. Went with the crowd and trotted around Gamestation baa-ing like the sheep I was.
One particular purchase is one that sticks with me as the biggest waste of £45 in my gaming life. Sacred 2.
Saying that… I bought PS Move too.
Especially for £45, that’s got to hurt your wallet. I guess that’s part of why cheap gaming on mobile systems like iOS is on the up and up. So cheap it’s disposable if you don’t like it.
Move hasn’t really lived up to its potential, I feel.
Sony have prodded us all in the bum with Move.
I guess at least it’s nice and squidgy.
Speak for yourself. At least Microsoft is trying with Kinect. Sony flogged us all a dead horse.
I consider that wallet rape. Daylight robbery. Can I sue?
Maybe set up a petition?
If we get enough people to sign, we can force them to discuss it in parliament!
Back to profiting from the misery of others. I like this!
It’s the way forward!