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News Snatch: 22Cans' Huge Arse And The Lolcats That Started A War

Also features Jane Austen and dancing linebackers.

Greetings! An absolutely massive Snatch today. Huge. Cavernous. A bit like Katy Price’s sna… Okay, let’s not go there. Lots to get on with starting with…

The nice chaps at Bossa Studios have entered this years Global Game Jam and have taken the theme of ‘heartbeat’ quite literally. The game Surgeon Simulator 2013 was created in 48 hours and takes the classic board game Operation to a whole new level. You can play the game here.


LittleBigPlanet Vita developers Double Eleven are to move into publishing and are looking for indie games to release on the PSN. “Amazing independent games are available for the PC, iPhone and Android markets, but are missing out on the huge 100 million strong PSN membership,” said the company in a statement.


Taken from the 22Cans webs page: “There are 66 chairs in the office. There are 20 people who currently make up the team at 22Cans.” One can only assume the team are triple buttocked behemoths and need three chairs per person.

Staying with Molyneux’s minions I have managed to find the stats for Curiosity but as they have not been updated since December 31st 2012 I think it’s pretty clear the team are busy rolling about in their Kickstarter money working hard on Godus.


A trailer for the HD’ified versions of the old Hitman games has been released and has a fair amount of bad dancing in it.


Every copy of Metal Gear Rising Reveangeance sold in Europe will ship with a free Cyborg Ninja DLC skin. This allows you to play the game as Grey Fox and slice the baddies into itty bitty pieces with his upgradeable Fox blade.


A job listing at DICE indicates they are porting the Frostbite 2 engine to Mac OS X. “You will be part of a team focusing on bringing Frostbite to Mac and work closely with game team customers and the Frostbite team to deliver an engine as great on OS X as it is on Windows and traditional console platforms.” Presumably once the conversion is done all future Frostbite 2 games will be released on Mac as well.


Cat Pictures Start Interstellar War! A group of trolls collectively known as Goonswarm have been rampaging through the EVE online universe, posting pictures of cats, memes and generally being arses. “Their celebration of the absurdity of Internet culture has allowed them to amass a huge following and Goonswarm Federation is now one of the largest political alliances in EVE,” reports Gameranx.

On Saturday a leading member of Goonswarm accidently warped his Titan class spaceship into the middle of an enemy fleet and called other Goonswarm members to his aid. What he did not count on is how many people they had pissed off with Lolcats, “The battle turned into a 3-on-1 slaughter with Pandemic Legion, Black Legion, and HBC joining the fray. In the end, Goonswarm lost many supercapital ships and four titans.”

FYI Titan class ships costs thousands of dollars, and that’s real money not in game currency. The Goons are currently licking their wounds and trying to calm everyone down saying they don’t want to spark a long running interstellar battle.


Promotional video of the day: Contenders for the Superbowl title on February, left tackle Joe Staley, left guard Mike Iupati and right guard Alex Boone from the 49’ers popped in to Ubisoft to have a dance off to ‘Call Me Maybe’. With a combined weight of 946 pounds they are slightly larger than your average Just Dance 4 player.

Oh and quick note to Ubisoft: If someone is wearing baggy white shorts then perhaps not the best idea to put a strong light source behind them and video the results, it is a good thing Mike Iupati is wearing some darker boxer shorts underneath.

Not that I’ve studied the video on freeze frame in 1080p or anything.


The Mac version of SimCity will only be available as a digital download and will ship after the PC version has hit the shelves. The delay is because “This isn’t a Mac port, but a full native version that runs on the Mac OS. Because of this, we want to take the time to ensure fans will get a version worthy of their platform.”


The PS3 DLC for Skyrim has been priced by Peter Hines from Bethesda, “Standard price is $20 (DB & DG) and $5 (HF)” he tweeted.

That is in line with the Xbox pricing in the U.S. as the two larger packs cost 1600 points. This converts roughly to £13.70 so expect U.K pricing to be around the £15.99 mark, best to grab the DLC on the first week of release when it will be half price.


Yesterday was the 200th anniversary of the publication of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice and The Guardian poses an interesting idea, is it time for a video game of the book? “The Regency society that Jane Austen wrote about was effectively a highly codified mechanism: a game system,” they note, “Just like in a role-playing adventure, where certain “classes” of enemies can only be effectively fought after the required power-ups have been discovered, Austen’s heroines faced a rigidly hierarchical environment in which every interaction was governed by status”.


Battlefield 3 will be going offline for eight hours while they “optimise the online service”. The service will be offline from 6am until 2pm on 29th January so should not trouble UK gamers too much.


And Finally, after all that triple buttocked filth, sweaty footballer player and lolcat nonsense let me raise the tone and end with a classy selection of tracks from Journey played on the piano.

9 Comments
  1. Bilbo_bobbins
    Member
    Since: Jun 2009

    that soundtrack on the Piano is immense, absolutely superb stuff.

    Comment posted on 29/01/2013 at 11:09.
  2. KeRaSh
    Member
    Since: Nov 2009

    I’ve read about what happened in EVE on reddit. I was thoroughly amazed…

    Comment posted on 29/01/2013 at 11:47.
  3. The Lone Steven
    Never heard of him.
    Since: May 2010

    I read about the massive war on Eve on Eurogamer and it was 3000 vs 3000. Unsure if it’s the same thing that Tuffcub mentioned as Eurogamer was more in depth and the name of the organisations don’t seem to be the same on here. Apparently, the server nearly went down due to the increased traffic.

    The prices for the Skyrim DLC seem a bit steep considering it’s taken a while for them to be released. But i’m going to get the GOTY or BOTY version as it’s going to be cheaper in the long run. :)

    I’m saying nothing about Tuffcub and that Just Dance 4 section.

    As for the Cube, everyone doesn’t care about it anymore so i suspect poor Peter Molyneux had to buy himself a brand new car to cheer himself up. Remeber, he is only worth a few million not billion. The poor sod.

    Comment posted on 29/01/2013 at 12:51.
  4. Sympozium
    Member
    Since: Aug 2009

    you can pre-order dragonborn omgomgomg.

    Comment posted on 29/01/2013 at 13:17.
  5. rSp8
    Member
    Since: Aug 2008

    That’s expensive for the Skyrim DLC! Good job I’ve already started to stocking up credit on my PSN (sorry SEN) wallet. Think I need to get some of the credit and reward points I’ve got with GAME turned into credit as well and make sure I grab them in the first week. Not too sure about Hearthfire though, it doesn’t seem to add much gameplay.

    Comment posted on 29/01/2013 at 13:34.
  6. ZacWolf
    Member
    Since: Jan 2013

    While correctly calling out Goonswarm as the chief instigators, the battle was officially between the “mega” coalitions: “Clusterfuck Coalition (CFC) and the Honeybadger Coalition (HBC). […] The CFC’s core alliance is Goonswarm, which is based in and recruits out of your least favorite website, SomethingAwful!” I’ve seen wildly divergent estimates of the real dollar costs of the war ranging from $15,000USD to $150,000USD, with the first being strictly resources costs, and the later being an estimation of the value of man hours that were spent.

    Comment posted on 29/01/2013 at 14:32.
    • Tuffcub
      On the naughty step.
      Since: Dec 2008

      Brilliant. Now my ex’s are turning up here :) Hello dear

      Comment posted on 29/01/2013 at 16:15.
  7. hazelam
    Member
    Since: Feb 2009

    i don’t know about Pride and Prejudice, but a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies could be fun.

    who doesn’t want to fight the unmentionable hordes at the turn of the 19th century? ^_^

    Comment posted on 29/01/2013 at 16:05.

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