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News Snatch: Zombie Batman And Killzone Penis Slicing

I'm horny, horny horny horny.

We begin with a new video of PS Vita exclusive Killzone Mercenary which shows how you can stab enemies in the neck, stab them in the back, stab them in the eye or if you’re feeling really evil, slice their penis in half, perform a jaunty spin of the knife then stab them in the top of the head.


Hello! I’m a rather aging developer, you may remember I made a bloody good game back in the 1990s which you spent whole weekends playing, much to the annoyance of your mother who constantly told you to “turn off that bloody computer and get some sunshine”. I have a new Kickstarter for a game that looks close enough to my old hit to generate a glowy feeling of nostalgia but with updated graphics and other such whizz-buggery. 

Sound familiar? After Molyneux (Godus / Populus), Braben (Elite / Elite Dangerous) and Roberts (Wing Commander / Star Citizen) it’s the turn of Lord British a.k.a. Richard Garriott, creator of the Ultima series. His Kickstarter is for Shroud of the Avatar, “the first installment of Richard’s new vision and represents the reinvention of the classic, fantasy role-playing which he pioneered.”

If this trend is to continue can we have a Kickstarter for The Bitmap Brothers Collection HD please? Speedball 2, Xenon 2 and The Chaos Engine, that’s all I ask.


Award yourselves a firm pat on the back and celebratory cup of tea for being bloody awesome.

Yes, you.

I posted the first in the series of videos examining the roles of women in video games on Friday, as did many other sites. You lot made sensible comments but the visitors to other sites were less than gentlemanly, for example:

“Well excuse me princess! its just a game,” said one such commentor. “There are women who need help in reality, you should loosen up and enjoy life, and count urself lucky ur not being beaten/raped by some big ass hairy mofo.”

Lovely. Anyway, well done you lot, very proud.


Zombie Batman. I don’t think I need to add anything else.


That mad bloke from Microsoft who said that nobody would know about PS4 may be reconsidering his words as the PlayStation 4 ‘Be the First to Know’ video has been viewed over 26.3 million times making it the most clicked advert on YouTube.


EA have registered a load of domains for Plants vs Zombies Adventure, expect an announcement shortly. It may involve Plants, quite possibly Zombies too, probably having an adventure.


Quick, hide all the Move controllers! The PS4 makes Suda51 “horny”.


And finally, some colourful and super smooth footage from Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix which will be coming to Europe later this year.

18 Comments
  1. Airiaen
    Member
    Since: Aug 2009

    “and that makes me horny”

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 13:15.
  2. The Lone Steven
    Never heard of him.
    Since: May 2010

    Tuffcub, you are still staying on the naughty step if that was an attempt to sweettalk us into letting off it. ;) I can’t believe someone would say that. It just goes to show that the TSA community are mostly decent people. Mostly. ;)

    I don’t think i will be conformtable playing KM.
    Oh, another kickstarter, erm… yay?

    Zombie Batman?! I pity the poor barsteward who bumps into him as Batman always win, even when he is not involved, he always wins. ALWAYS!

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 13:24.
  3. ron_mcphatty
    Member
    Since: Sep 2008

    TSA, feminist friendly since 2007! Well, I say friendly…

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 13:45.
    • The Lone Steven
      Never heard of him.
      Since: May 2010

      but not in the way that is legal. Or safe for work. ;)

      Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 13:53.
    • bunimomike
      Member
      Since: Jul 2009

      Nothing I do to Hannypoppie is in anyway “friendly”.

      Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 15:54.
      • ron_mcphatty
        Member
        Since: Sep 2008

        Feel free to elaborate, it’s a just culture around here.

        Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 18:31.
      • The Lone Steven
        Never heard of him.
        Since: May 2010

        I think what he does to Hanny is not even safe to call NSFW. :O

        Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 18:59.
      • bunimomike
        Member
        Since: Jul 2009

        Agreed. It’s simply NS with me around. :)

        Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 23:56.
  4. rSp8
    Member
    Since: Aug 2008

    Big thumbs up for a Bitmap Brothers collection, even just an HD version of Brutal Deluxe would do. I’m very cautious of Unjustice. Mortal Kombat but with DC characters? And maybe they should leave off promoting the DLC until after the game is released? They’re just setting themselves up for “Why wasn’t it on the disc?” and “Release day DLC sucks” style comments.

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 13:56.
    • Loxstokk
      Member
      Since: Aug 2010

      Bitmap Brother’s Magic Pockets!!!!!

      (Not a euphemism…)

      Loved that game.

      Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 20:00.
  5. teflon
    Community Team
    Since: May 2009

    There’s also a second instance where a dad has switched out the gender or character of the lead in a game for his daughter.

    Last year one father delved into LoZ:Wind Waker and changed the dialogue so that it said “milady” instead of “my lad” or “master”, fitting the lack of any real male characteristics on Link.

    Then, just this last week it popped up that a dad had switched out Mario for Pauline in a NES version of Donkey Kong for his daughter. Genius.

    http://youtu.be/JeXDNg7scyU

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 14:31.
  6. Unterred
    Member
    Since: Oct 2009

    Chaos Engine HD = YES YES YES YES FROM ME!!!!

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 15:08.
  7. bunimomike
    Member
    Since: Jul 2009

    Lovely stuff, fella.

    I have to say, there’s oodles of “old” games that could benefit from a HD remake and popping into the likes of the PS Store (and Steam, etc). Hell, I’m waiting for a good Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance this generation. Torchlight II was close but still no cigar.

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 15:35.
    • Tuffcub
      On the naughty step.
      Since: Dec 2008

      I have a remix of Megablast just waiting to be used on a HD remix :)

      Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 16:34.
      • bunimomike
        Member
        Since: Jul 2009

        I’ll never forget when Tomorrow’s World demo’d Q Sound and played a bit of ‘Xenon 2 Megablast’ with Tim Simenon’s Megablast sounding nothing short of stunning.

        Someone’s got it on YouTube, much to my delight.

        Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 17:02.
  8. BULLofDOOM
    Member
    Since: Feb 2013

    Killzone Mercenary is looking so good! Can’t wait!

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 17:03.
  9. hazelam
    Member
    Since: Feb 2009

    a bitmap collection?

    yes please.

    what was that steampunk shooter they made?
    Chaos Engine wasn’t it?
    a new version of that with twin stick controls would be fantastic.

    and people questioned the need for a series like Tropes VS Women. o_O
    i imagine, or at least hope, that guy was trying to be all ironic and funny.
    but actually, he just comes off as a dick.

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 17:08.
  10. fillip2k
    Member
    Since: Jun 2011

    I have many a memory of playing speedball with my brother… And then when he kept beating me I would throw a hissy fit and punch him, but if he hit me I’d go running to mummy and tell on him. Thus earning him face time with a shouty father…. Being the youngest was great…

    Comment posted on 11/03/2013 at 21:21.

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