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Dead or Alive 5 Plus Boob Jiggling Mode Is Just Bizarre

The most wonderful thing about Tiggers.

We’ve covered the breast-jiggling weirdness of Dead or Alive 5’s Vita update before. For those of you not keeping up to speed with the best that videogames have to offer with regards to the dynamic properties of boobs, here’s a quick recap.

DoA 5 Plus features the inclusion of an unlockable mode which allows you to use the touch screen to make the extremely well-endowed stars of the game bounce, wobble and generally undulate around. To me, it seems very weird and a bit… icky. Well, that was when I thought it was a mode included for some grubby pervs to find some form of titillation in it. Having seen this video, I realise it’s a comedy thing. I mean, this isn’t really how breasts should move, that would be agony for the woman involved.

Here’s the video, click through the link to see it.

I still think this is very strange, slightly embarrassing (for all concerned) and, if you find yourself aroused by it I think you probably need therapy. But at least it’s obviously not meant to look in any way realistic.

In answer to the (totally justified) accusations of misogyny that this will draw, I’d like to encourage Tecmo Koei and Team Ninja to patch in a realistically modelled, oversized cock and balls that jiggle about when you tap and grow gradually larger if you stroke the screen tenderly. I mean, if we’re going to sexually objectify we should at least be fair about it.

Who really wants this crap?

20 Comments
  1. Jones81
    Member
    Since: Mar 2010

    Why would anyone want to perv over this when there is mountains of free porn all over the internet?, the good stuff aswell

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 15:35.
    • BrendanCalls
      Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc - YOHIMBÉ!!!
      Since: Forever

      Hang your head in shame sir
      .
      .
      .
      .
      Where?
      ;-)

      Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 15:45.
      • Jones81
        Member
        Since: Mar 2010

        Pornhub and tube pleasure are pretty good, also cliphunter. Aint nothing wrong with a little smut now and then!

        Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 15:50.
      • BrendanCalls
        Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc - YOHIMBÉ!!!
        Since: Forever

        LOL!! I wasn’t being all that serious. :-)

        Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 16:17.
      • Jones81
        Member
        Since: Mar 2010

        Yeah I know lol

        Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 17:46.
  2. hazelam
    Member
    Since: Feb 2009

    and they said it wasn’t all about the sex any more.

    people demanded it, they said
    who demanded this?

    i agree though, if they let people play with the women’s breasts, then why can’t people play with the guys junk?

    in fact i think i had that idea when this was first mentioned.

    anyway, it wouldn’t appeal to me, but fair’s fair, right?

    or get Terry Crews in the next game and let people play with his chest.
    that would be hilarious. ^_^

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 15:47.
  3. KeRaSh
    Member
    Since: Nov 2009

    BOOOOIOIOIOINGGGG! *Beavis and Butthead reference*

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 15:54.
  4. yiddo
    Member
    Since: Jun 2010

    Need some kind of augmented reality feature where you can put the Vita flat on your face, and make noises as if you were rubbing your face into breasts, all whilst the Vita device rumbles furiously. At least you’d spot the kind of people who demanded this out in public.

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 16:30.
  5. Airiaen
    Member
    Since: Aug 2009

    Dead or Alive is a okish fighter but its a shame its overshadowed by stuff like that.

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 16:31.
  6. Crazy_Del
    Member
    Since: Jul 2009

    *Swing* (Wayne’s World)

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 16:49.
    • Tuffcub
      On the naughty step.
      Since: Dec 2008

      SCHWING.

      *tuts*

      Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 17:01.
  7. bunimomike
    Member
    Since: Jul 2009

    I’m not sure what they’re even trying to achieve but there we go. A bit pathetic and not something I’d want on my CV, that’s for sure.

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 17:30.
    • blast71
      Member
      Since: May 2012

      I’d LOVE some tits on my Citroen ;p

      Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 21:11.
    • jtomlinii
      Member
      Since: Oct 2008

      Lol, I can see it now on a programmer’s resume:
      Worked on getting boobs to jiggle while touching and rubbing the touch screen.
      Sounds a bit like that person worked in the porn industry.

      Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 21:45.
  8. Starman
    Member
    Since: Jul 2011

    Chill out people, its just a bit of harmless Benny Hill style comedy wobbly boobage. I’d have been more surprised if they hadn’t used the vitas touch or motion abilities in some way like this.

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 18:17.
  9. The Lone Steven
    Never heard of him.
    Since: May 2010

    So if i were to play DOA5’s boob mode, i would end up becoming SolidSteven:Rising. I can do that for free. ;-) Who on earth will buy this for virtual tits? Just who? Also, i doubt people will use their fingers to touch the boobs and instead use their snakes. ;)

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 18:21.
  10. FoxHoundGabe
    Member
    Since: Mar 2010

    While I dont find it particulary amusing I dont understand why people gets upset by this. The breasts have been a main feature in this game forever, and im sure a chunk of its sales comes from (and the game developers know it) hormones-gone-crazy male teens that giggle when playing it.

    If all games were like this id get upset too, but with all the choices out there, they can turn the game into a wrestling porn game that i wouldnt care at all.

    would a giant cock sell the game more? I doubt so, the day it does, im sure they will have no problem in including it.

    Comment posted on 21/03/2013 at 18:21.

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