We’ve covered the breast-jiggling weirdness of Dead or Alive 5′s Vita update before. For those of you not keeping up to speed with the best that videogames have to offer with regards to the dynamic properties of boobs, here’s a quick recap.
DoA 5 Plus features the inclusion of an unlockable mode which allows you to use the touch screen to make the extremely well-endowed stars of the game bounce, wobble and generally undulate around. To me, it seems very weird and a bit… icky. Well, that was when I thought it was a mode included for some grubby pervs to find some form of titillation in it. Having seen this video, I realise it’s a comedy thing. I mean, this isn’t really how breasts should move, that would be agony for the woman involved.
Here’s the video, click through the link to see it.
I still think this is very strange, slightly embarrassing (for all concerned) and, if you find yourself aroused by it I think you probably need therapy. But at least it’s obviously not meant to look in any way realistic.
In answer to the (totally justified) accusations of misogyny that this will draw, I’d like to encourage Tecmo Koei and Team Ninja to patch in a realistically modelled, oversized cock and balls that jiggle about when you tap and grow gradually larger if you stroke the screen tenderly. I mean, if we’re going to sexually objectify we should at least be fair about it.
Who really wants this crap?