It began with a whisper, a rumour that the Xbox One may have an ‘always on’ requirement.
Developers dropped hints, executives forgot their PR briefings and that whisper became a roar of DRM rumours. Then the Xbox One was officially revealed and that roar became a banshee scream of disgruntlement. The Microsoft PR nightmare had begun.
Almost every day someone said or did something to add fuel to the fire and by the the beginning of this week the nightmare had become a comedy – what outrageous statement would Microsoft and chums make today?
Last night’s spectacular U turn means the show is coming to end and a thousand games writers can begin the expensive procedure of reconstructive surgery, their features having been mangled by constant face-palming and head-desking.
However, before we assign the last couple of weeks to the big file marked “WTF were you thinking?” let’s have one last chuckle at the utter, glorious mess that was the Xbox One launch.
- “I mean we’re really not going to change anything we’ve done with Xbox One.” – Major Nelson aka Larry Hryb, 96 hours before changing everything.
- “I’d bet Sony has some similar stuff up their sleeves they’re just playing on the internet outrage for free PR. You’re all being played!” – Cliffy B is angling for Michael Pachter’s job.
- “Thank you again for your candid feedback.” – The Microsoft Blog appreciates your swearing.
- “We’re over-delivering value against other choices I think consumers can get.” – Don Mattrick explains why you should buy an Xbox One, no one understands him.
- “We’re also confident that gamers are going to love our vision of the future.” - Major Nelson again, slightly less confident now.
- “Sorry for the confusion, that was in regards to Xbox 360.” – Xbox Support Twitter account despite being asked specifically about Xbox One XBL bans.
- “Fortunately we have a product for people who aren’t able to get some form of connectivity, it’s called Xbox 360.”- Don Mattrick really knows how to sell his new console.
- “Some games not transferable and have no resale value; restrictions on games usage apply.” – The Xbox One Terms Of Service.
- “#dealwithit” – Adam Orth, Ex-Creative Director at Microsoft Studios.
- “This is how you share games on PS4.” – Shuhei Yoshida’s mega troll “Official PlayStation Used Game Instructional Video” which has had over 13 million views.
Sadly for me the abrupt U turn means I cannot rely on Microsoft for comedy postings and I will have to start writing funny stuff again. Perhaps I can get some help, anyone got Don Mattrick’s phone number? He’s probably looking for a new job…