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EE Wembley Cup Final Match Report: Hashtag United Vs Tekkers Town

Like FIFA but in real life.

Some of you have opened this feature wondering what the heck is going on. After all, TSA is a gaming website first and foremost, not a sports site! Has there been a shift in focus? Nope, so don’t worry. In fact last week we were invited to cover a football match and not just any football match. This was the EE Wembley Cup Final between Hashtag United and Tekkers Town at Wembley Stadium, two teams comprised of YouTubers and six legends of the beautiful game. Those legends included Steven Gerrard, Robbie Fowler, David James, Emile Heskey, Robbie Savage and William Gallas – Rio Ferdinand had to withdraw. How legendary some of those players are I’ll let you decide for yourself.

You may have heard of Hashtag United before which is an amateur team put together by YouTuber Spencer Owen, who have become a team with a huge following thanks to their prominence on social media. They play various Sunday League teams as well as teams comprised of staff from professional clubs and other YouTube teams. Their rise has been meteoric and has seen the team invite others to compete against them at the Wembley Cup final, with yesterday being the third one.

The opponents this time round were Tekkers Town who were comprised of the F2 Freestylers as well as three of the legends and other famous YouTubers like KSI. They were here to take the cup and break the hold that Hashtag United have over this occasion. With Steven Gerrard, David James, and Emile Heskey among the Tekkers’ ranks surely Hashtag would be struggling to defend the title.

Line Ups

Hashtag United – Martin Keown (Manager)

Andy Jeff Watts, Spencer, Rich Beck, Sam Adams, Conrad, Seb, Jack Harrison, Phil Martin, Charlie Morley, Dan Brown, Ryan Adams.

Subs: Robbie Fowler, Robbie Savage, William Gallas, Jamie “Jacko” Johnson, Jemel Akeem, Sam Ecott, Scott Pollock, Theo Baker.

Tekkers Town – Stuart Pierce (Manager)

Hughwizzy, Wroetoshaw, Crawford, Poet, Kieran, Manny, Cutting, Lynch, ChrisMD, Sean, Pieters.

Subs: David James, Steven Gerrard, Emile Heskey, Vujanic, Weller, Tobjizzle, Reev, KSI.

The Match 

Jon Moss (Referee)

Tekkers Town kicked off and you could tell both teams were looking for weaknesses in the first five minutes, with much of the opening being confined to midfield as both teams battled for possession. There was one major shot by Hashtag United which was driven along the ground but was aimed right at Tekkers’ keeper Hughwizzy who scooped up the ball with ease.

The midfield battle didn’t last long though and within moments the action was a lot more end to end with both teams trading shots. Hashtag’s chances were more frequent, though a header went over and a shot went wide. Sensing this early push by Hashtag, Tekkers made their first substitution and brought on Steven Gerrard – it’s worth pointing out that subs in this match weren’t limited and players could be rotated freely – which Hashtage responded to by bringing on both two Robbies: Fowler and Savage.

It was Fowler who could have made an impact first as Hashtag broke through the Tekkers defence. After a handball shout was waved away by the referee, the ball rolled out of the box towards Fowler who fired a driven shot across the ground, but again it went straight to the keeper. That was Fowler’s big highlight of the game, and after the shot Tekkers decided to bring David James on to fortify the defence.

The exact opposite occurred when Hashtag countered from a corner kick at the other end and raced down the pitch. The ball was played forward with Harrison running up the wing and an almost perfect cross allowed Ryan Adams to tap the ball into the net.

GOAL 23′ 1-0 to Hashtag United

Tekkers had to respond and so brought on Emile Heskey for Cutting, with KSI also being subbed on. Within moments Heskey was involved in the comeback. He ran into the box looking to bring Tekkers back into the match. Hashtag’s keeper for some reason decided to charge into Heskey. This led to a penalty to Tekkers Town. Lynch stepped up to the spot and took a perfect penalty.

GOAL. 27′ 1-1

Tekkers were looking for the second team goal to give them the lead. Lynch nearly got it and some of the 34,000 fans in the stadium thought he had as the net bulged, but that was because the ball had skimmed it from the outside leading to a goal kick. From there Hashtag upped the ante and threw themselves forward. One corner saw Hashtag’s Morley take a tremendous shot that was tipped over by James in spectacular fashion. The follow up corner was handled easily by James. Gallas was subbed on for Savage on the Hashtag side.

Tekkers were trying to put their own pressure on with Heskey helping to cause problems for the Hashtag defence – maybe he should come back for England? He was nearly involved with setting up a second Tekkers goal as the ball fell to him from a throw in and he passed it across the face of goal, but his Tekkers teammates were just out of reach so couldn’t poke the ball in. Tekkers Town would rue that missed opportunity.

In the 44th minute Hashtag managed to get forward again. Coming up from the right a cross was played in that was tipped by James, but it was a howler. Instead of tipping it out for a corner or trying to catch the ball James instead pushed the ball behind him where Hashtag’s Dan Brown had a wide open goal to head the ball in with the last action of the half.

GOAL 45′ – 2-1 to Hashtag United.

The first half had been an incredibly close and entertaining affair with both teams giving it their all to gain the upper hand. It had been more entertaining and raucous than recent England matches at Wembley. But as we know football is a game of two halves and the second half was completely different with one team acting like they had forgotten how to play while the other pounced to annihilate the opposition in a destructive way. Little did I or the others in attendance know that the second half would become a slaughter.

The Second Half

From the moment Hashtag kicked off the second half they were dominant, keeping Tekkers Town confined to their own half. Chance after chance fell to Hashtag but Tekkers Town managed to rebuff them for around six minutes before they finally managed to push back. Running forward the ball fell to Gerrard from quite a range from the Hashtag goal, but we’ve seen Gerrard bury these before. Everyone knew the shot was coming and most were thinking the score would be level once more. The Mexican wave had completed its fourth cycle of the stadium but fizzled out as everyone watched. Gerrard fired, the crowd gasped, the keeper dived, and the ball curled just wide of the post.

That was a sign of things to come for Tekkers Town as the match slipped from their grasp. Moments after the Gerrard miss, Hashtag cut through the Tekkers defence like a hot knife through butter. Tekkers’ Hughwizzy came out to meet the ball, but in standard FIFA fashion the ball was cut along the box for Theo Baker to slot it home for another Hashtag goal. The boy from Seaford Head school and former McDonald’s employee had done good. (By the way Theo, if you’re reading this you have Jack Gant to thank for the info).

GOAL 55′ – 3-1 to Hashtag United.

It put Tekkers out to sea as team morale seemed to crumble. Fowler was once again subbed on for Hashtag with Adams going off, while on the Tekkers side Heskey returned to the field along with Poet. Even the mighty Heskey couldn’t stop what was about to transpire. Hashtag just kept the pressure up, not content with a two goal lead and that pressure paid off.

Relying on a tactic they’d used through the match, Hashtag took a short corner. It managed to find its way to Theo Baker’s feet once more and just like that the ball was fired into the bottom of the net. It happened so quickly that even the keeper Hughwizzy was surprised, staying rooted to the spot as the ball went past him. That prompted his subbing for David James to return to the field.

GOAL 64′ – 4-1 to Hashtag United.

Tekkers Town did managed to push forward as they tried to salvage some dignity from the thumping being received and it was Gerrard who came close from range once again. This the shot had a great curl on it and would have found the net had Hashtag’s keeper not managed to dive and push the ball around the post with his fingertips.

Back on the front foot as Hashtag broke from a corner, Theo Baker nearly joined the lists of those to score a hat trick at Wembley, but the ball had other ideas, as it awkwardly bounced into Baker’s leg. As the match died down a bit, with Savage and KSI coming back on for their respective teams, Hashtag continued to open fire at the Tekkers Town goal but shots were either flying wide, high or getting saved.

In fact the next big chance fell to Tekkers Town and surely they would get something back to halt the wave of humiliation? A free kick right on the edge of the box and once again Gerrard stepped up. This had to be it since Gerrard used to score these with ease. He stepped up, took the shot, and the ball went just wide once more. With 10 minutes left everyone knew this contest was over, but Hashtag weren’t finished with their rout.

Tekkers Town looked completely devoid of motivation as the minutes ticked towards the final whistle, again allowing Hashtag to jump on chances in the box. In the 85th minute James committed another mistake ashe came out to parry the ball away but instead got in Morley’s way. The ball bounced past, Morley recovered from the stumble and managed to drive in a class shot for another Hashtag United goal.

GOAL 85′ – 5-1 to Hashtag United.

You’d think by now Hashtag would show some mercy to Tekkers Town team that were quite soundly beaten, dragging themselves along the pitch and just willing the referee to call an end to the match and their misery. You’d think that, but Hashtag were flying high and wanted to entertain. Another attack, another cutback, and Hashtag’s Phil Martin was there to tap the ball into the net.

GOAL 87′ – 6-1 to Hashtag United.

The next highlight wasn’t from the pitch but from the crowd of 34,000. Some of you may have seen the video of the paper airplane that managed to float into goal after a fan threw it. Well it looks like quite a lot of people were trying to emulate that has paper planes took to the sky and fell meekly in front of the unimpressed stewards. None of the planes managed to get onto the pitch let alone the net. After that the match fizzled out as Hashtag United finally took their foot off the pedal and the referee called an end to the match.

FINAL SCORE – Hashtag United 6 – 1 Tekkers Town. Man of the match awarded to Hashtag United’s Scott Pollock as voted for by fans.

On that overcast day Wembley Stadium saw a great game of football get played since the Arch went up, and Hashtag United continued to hold onto the Wembley Cup. Tekkers Town were gracious in defeat but looked shook from the hammering they received. All in all a very entertaining match was played on the pitch.

Images via @WembleyStadium and @SpencerOwen


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