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News Snatch: Michael Jackson, Exceptional Beards, And The Final Snatch

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu.

Right then, before we get on the bad news (sniff) let’s get the day job out the way – games news! Lovely, lovely games news, but games news that wasn’t quite lovely enough to score it’s own post. We start with procedurally generated 2D shooter Birdcakes in which you must destroy Birdcakes’ enemies, flies. Yes, flies. Makes a change from aliens I guess.


Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom has gone gold, not that means a thing in the days of ridiculous day one patches.



Another game announcement incoming: Assault Gunners HD is being ported from PS Vita! Marvelous Europe, which is the publisher and not my stance on Brexit, revealed the news with the game landing on PS4 and PC worldwide on 20th March.


This years EA Play, aka EA’s E3 Thing, has been dated for June 9th. Well done to EA for firing the E3 starting gun as well, I simply can’t wait. (Read: WTF, wasn’t E3 like, two weeks ago?!? It’s come around again??)




Yume Nikki:Dream Diary
, that bonkers Japanese thing, is out, here’s the launch trailer.



A widely held rumour has finally been confirmed, Michael Jackson did submit tunes for Sonic 3. To promote the launch of the final volume of The Untold History of Japanese Game Developers Vol 3, the writer spoke to Sonic’s creator Naoto Oshima.

He revealed that Jackson had submitted a demo tape of music for the game, but MJ had made every sound himself. He had multi-tracked his voice, singing imitations of trumpets, bass, and other instruments to create a completely capella soundtrack.

Due to “various incidents” Jackson’s music was never used in the game.



If you buy Final Fantasy XV on Steam before May 1st you can download a free pack that let’s you dress up as Gordon Freeman from Half Life, because that’s just as good as playing Half Life 3.


Tomb Raider: Escape is a 30-minute, multi-room experience launching in London, UK, with immersive environments that “are inspired by the film and feature key props and elements on loan from the production.”

The three floor, 1,500 square foot escape room “combines ancient puzzles and the latest technology with physical obstacles, immersive theatre, and cutting-edge sound, lighting and special effects – culminating in an explosive, adrenaline-pumping and unforgettable finale.”

You cant buy tickets but you can win them here.



More game announcements, episode one of side-scrolling action RPG Heroine Anthem Zero hits PS4 on 28th February.


The founders of Sledgehammer Games are leaving the developer and taking up executive-level position at Activision. Michael Condrey and Glenn Schofield (aka The Hot One According To TC) were previously part of Dead Space developers, Visceral Games.



Do you know what the world really needs? Another Warhammer game, we haven’t had one of those announced for at least three weeks. The new addition is Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus and it’s going to be a bit X-Com-ish, allegedly



Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2’s next set of DLC is out at the end of month, here’s a nice trailer telling you about it.



All Walls Must Fall leaves Early Access today and there’s a new trailer featuring quotes from various websites, including the one below from a previous News Snatch. After eight years Snatch has finally made it in to a trailer! Woohoo!


And Finally, after that high note, we end. No, honestly, that’s it, no more News Snatch. After eight years of Snatch (longer if you count it’s predecessor, News Clunge which I wrote on the TSA message boards) it’s time to wave goodbye to unheard of indie games, ERSB Smut Watch, Bob Kotick, Michael Pachter, and of course, Improbable Boobs.

There’s three reasons for this: Firstly, there is so much news these days that even with News Snatch we can’t cover all of it, and with Snatch only being published once a week a lot of the news is old hat. Secondly, none of you buggers are reading this, which is fair enough given my first point, but it’s a lot of work for a small audience. Thirdly, the days of Snatch being silly, humorous and irrelevant are long gone because I’m just too shagged out by Friday to try and be amusing, and that was News Snatch’s original purpose.

But wait, what is that on yonder horizon? Surely it cannot be long lost, illegitimate, and yet far more respectable, son of News Snatch?

13 Comments
  1. Crazy_Del
    Member
    Since: Jul 2009

    Awwww……. poop!

    Comment posted on 24/02/2018 at 02:53.
  2. TSBonyman
    Member
    Since: Dec 2009

    I’ll miss the smut! :)

    Comment posted on 24/02/2018 at 17:14.
  3. scavenga
    Member
    Since: Jul 2009

    Damn. Thank you for a good run

    Comment posted on 25/02/2018 at 10:24.