If You Don’t Hate Games You’ll Want Star Command

iPhone and Android games. Angry Birds, short lived nuggets, terrible gameplay, touchscreen controls, disposable, dull, right?

Except, well, just watch.



Star Command, as this blissful slice of gaming is known, will be released in the Summer across iOS and Android. You will want it right in your face.



  1. That looks ace!

  2. I remember IGN’s Justin Davis talking about this game a while ago when it was in Kickstarter mode (befor Double Fine made it cool to do so). I got very excited for about a week and them forgot about it. It was the first original iOS/Android relese I’ve ever been ‘hyped’ for before it’s relese. Please hurry up and come out!

  3. I feel like I fit perfectly into the marketers targed audience. Geeky, immature and comfortable spending long periods on the throne. That ending was bloody hilarious!

  4. Ha! He’s sitting on the toilet! Ho ho! How amusing, especially when the game look shit!

    What is WRONG with you people? You spend half the GNP of Bolivia buying a an iPad/Phone then want to play shit games you could play on an Amiga or Speccy?

    You all need a good slap.

    • Actually im not finished. Let’s talk “Pixel” art. Is it retro? Yes. Is it also incredible lazy? Absoloutely.

      LooK! It’s retro Pixel! We dont have to code proper animations and save hours of time!

      Sound FX! Retro! Brillaint, we can just nick some from an ld Atari ST gamerRather than just source new stuff.

      Marketing? Who needs it, we’ll just rely on nostagia – oh an poo jokes! Nothing as retro as a poo joke!

      • With you on this TC, looks like the last decade of gaming never happened when you look at this.

        I think the only game that really pulled off a retro styling successfully was Scott Pilgrim. But even that tires quickly.

      • Agree 100%

      • Im quite literally stunned by what you just wrote.
        Allow me to gather myself for a second so i dont just write page after page of profanity……. ok.

        First of all Indie games are made by typically 3-4 peopls on a tiny budget purely because they are making games that either arent on the market yet or that they wish were on the market, its not about AAA Graphics and a multimillion budget provided by “Suits” in a massive company, its about the wow factor and thats called…


        Games that make you go one more round, turn or hour because of how they play, NOT how they look, take Minecraft, Game Dev Story, World of Goo, Machinarium, the upcoming Project Zomboid.

        All these games are unparalleled by any mainstream game, all give you far different feelings than a AAA title, better support by Devs who are actually Grateful you bought the game, not “Your message is important to us…..”

        im goning to stop now as im merely getting angrier but i suggest its you that needs a good slap.

      • I agree 100% with Tuffcub.
        If you want to support an indie developer and buy a game you enjoy, fine.

        But be realistic, there ARE better games out there, because guess what?
        A small team of 2 or 3 people working on a shoestring budget just can’t do as much as a bigger team.
        It doesn’t make the game better though.

        I’m not calling a game better than it is just because it had a smaller budget, or another game worse because it had a bigger budget.

      • Mr TheDemocrodile, I really do not care how many people have made I game.

        What I do care is that shite like this is dragging the games industry backwwards rather than pushing it forward with new concepts and ideas.

        These retro pixel games are just tired rehashes.

        That DoubeFine Kickstarter thing will be a load of bollocks as well. Point and click adventures? Fuck off. We should be runing about in VR holographic landscapes by now,.

        Boring, tired, SEEN IT ALL BEFORE.

        New balls please.

      • Better games out there? That’s just subjective

        Generally the bigger team with more money and it just gets burned on a 300 3D animators who spend years drawing textures which makes no difference whatsoever to the core idea.

        99 times out of a hundred you just end up with a game akin to to the movie Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen where fluff & bloat have been added so you can sell the very thing you’ve just spunked loads of money on, some people prefer the stripped down Pulp Fiction kind of indie experience.

      • I’m with the smart people. A game can be in two colour ASCII as far as I’m concerned, gameplay is kind.

        And this looks shit fucking hot.

      • How in the name of all blue hell are they dragging the industry backwards?!?
        Minecraft for example has sold over 5 Million copies and provided a gameplay experience never before seen in games, while im at it Project Zomboid promises to be the ONLY zombie SURVIVAL game currently available.
        youve seen World of Goo before? Machinarium? wow, please invite me to this random universe you inhabit because i bloody well havent.

        The fact remains that merely bacause you think these people shouldnt be making these games without the graphical fidelity of the CryEngine, the Sound budget of Chinese Democracy and the infrastructure of Activision doesnt mean they are dragging or holding anything back.

        Thank christ your jaded opinion is in the blessed minority or we`d just have endless rehashes of the same series produced by mindless, soulless robots.

      • We do “just have endless rehashes of the same series produced by mindless, soulless robots.”

        That’s why 19 out of 20 games in the chart a couple of weeks ago was the same old shit that’s always been floating around. Identi-kit FPS’, sports games and a smattering of other too long in the tooth franchises.

        the indie game scene is, on the whole, where the new experiences are whereas the major publishers are concentrating their efforts on the same old rehashes with a new lick of paint.

        Mainstream big explosion console gaming is dying with year on year massive declines in software sales throughout this generation, its business model can only support about 10 franchises. As the publishers close dev studios to concentrate on these same old titles the speed that which it is dying will only accelerate.

      • Well said CC, im calm now :) i get cranky when the only real innovators left in gaming get panned for being lazy, i mean if this game pans out like its devs plan itll be X-Beyond the Frontier mixed with the upcoming (indie) FTL and an interior ship element that no other game has.

        Lazy? Please.

      • Innovation is great.
        But generally the first game to do something gets improved on, either by a big budget sequel or another company adapting the idea. The original would have more artistic merit, but it wouldn’t be the best.

        This doesn’t look innovative in the slightest though. Innovation is new things, what was innovative about this trailer?

      • Other than the fact that – it’s on a phone, there really doesn’t appear to be anything innovative on display here, it looks to me like an exceedingly shonky Xcom rip off, only with worse graphics than that series last outing – 15 years ago. Innovative? Not to my eye.

        To give my post perspective though, I don’t use phones for games, it doesn’t appeal to me as a format, I’d rather play PSP etc, read a book or look out the window if I’m mobile, so I’m definitely not in this titles target audience.

        I love my indie games, but some stuff just doesn’t cut it for me and this is one of those occassions. I often think that abstract titles (such as Riff) are where the strength of indie devs lie, not in hamfistedly rehashing titles from the late 80’s and 90’s.

    • My Amiga didn’t have touchscreen. It had Workbench.

      • Much more fun than a touchscreen.

      • Won’t run Twitter though, or iTunes, or show YouTube videos. Octamed, yes. Twitter no. That’s probably why people enjoy a bit of retro-styled gaming on their smartphones, and aren’t digging out 20 year old hardware from the loft.

      • Its not retro, it’s lazy.

      • Fingers crossed for a full chiptune soundtrack, then.

    • 100% agree Tuffcub.

  5. ha ha, excellent ending. Looks interesting, shall be getting this on my new ipad…ho ho ho ! lol

  6. Can’t see the appeal personally. Then again I have that viewpoint on all Iphone/Facebook games.

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