Crytek Mocks OXM’s Timesplitters 4 Rumours

Crytek UK, formerly Free Radical, has categorically denied the rumours seen in Official Xbox Magazine (and digitised by their friends at CVG) that they’re working on Timesplitters 4. By way of countering the claim that a source of OXM’s had played the game, the group of comedians at Crytek UK issued the following statement to CVG.

For Timesplitters 4, with ever spiralling development costs, massive teams and endless crunch we decided on a more radical development strategy.

In short, the experiment was to implement the infinite monkey theorem. With cloning being a far too expensive option, we spent all of the development budget on buying monkeys on the black market.

Those seven monkeys are now sat in a room with typewriters and lots of mirrors, and we fully expect Timesplitters 4 to be finished soon. Rumours are that they haven’t written any code but just tease the press from time to time. Those damn monkeys.

PS: anyone got any bananas?

I think that deserves a round of applause. Or a banana.

Source: CVG



  1. Aww bless them having a little go at comedy.

    • It’s just a shame that they’re not as funny as that bloke from Crytek earlier in the week!

  2. Awesome reply to the rumour. Radical still lives… :D

  3. So, its coming out soon then?

  4. So there we have it confirmation the game is in development just hope the monkeys dont mess it up.

  5. Fingers crossed everyone pirates it or buys it second hand >:D

  6. Plenty of other great games anyway.

  7. Bah… harumph.. pfft..

  8. If not, just someone PLEASE do a ‘Timesplitters HD Trilogy’ :P :P :P
    (i.e TS1+TS2+TS3:FP with Trophies of course)
    + like i said before if they made a new TS game they would probably f**k it up :-/ They would drop the 4 player split-screen mode with Bots for sh*ty online multi-player modes i bet. F-me can’t 4 player split-screen mode with Bots be done this Gen on this Gen consoles? ? ? Zzzzzzzz

  9. i hate bananas.
    the smell of them makes me ill.

    yet i like banana flavoured milkshake, weird that. ^_^

    • Ha! Im kinda the same in that aspesct, i love the flavour of banana but hate eating the actual fruit, its the texture of the banana that turns my stomach!

  10. If it weren’t for them saying that destroying preowned would be awesome, i may have found this a bit funny. Hell, it sounds like something i would come up with! :O Only, less insane and less likely to give you nightmares. :p

    Just give us TS4 or rerelease the originals on PSN, Steam and XBL.

Comments are now closed for this post.