News Snatch: Colonial Marines, Duvets And Badgers

Sega has released a new trailer for the ‘Survival Mode’ in Aliens: Colonial Marines and it is rather epic. Four marines fight against waves of xenomorphs including one type we have not seen before, an alien that commits suicide and sprays acidic blood over the marines. They will need more than a quick spritz of Febreeze to get that out of the curtains.


Legal Battle Of The Day: The Tolkein Estate is suing Warner Brothers for $80 million, claiming the company is “usurping rights to which they are not entitled”, specifically the LotR online game and virtual slot machines.

“Not only does the production of gambling games patently exceed the scope of defendants’ rights, but this infringing conduct has outraged Tolkien’s devoted fan base, causing irreparable harm to Tolkien’s legacy and reputation and the valuable goodwill generated by his works,” said someone who thinks they are important.

They then popped on their attractive LotR Beenie hat and went home and cooked a lovely meal whilst wearing their Gandalf Apron before snuggling under their delightful Lord Of The Rings duvet. We used a Ouija board to contact Tolkein who told us he is “Dead proud of that duvet, it’s up there with The Hobbit as one of my best works.”

One word that means instant filing in the News Snatch bin: Kickstarter. After the initial excitement and success by Double Fine, many projects are beginning to flounder. A gaming bar for London failed to reach its target via similar service Indiegogo and the Elite Dangerous Kickstarter is looking a little shaky having only raised 500K of its £1.25 million target. SPORTSFRIENDS featuring Johann Sebastian Joust for PlayStation 3 is also in trouble with nineteen days to go and under a third of the funds raised. Kung Fu Superstar looks dead in the water with only $22,000 raised with a $200,000 goal and a ‘battle suit‘ that allows you to experience being stabbed in Call Of Duty which only raised $2 of its $50,000 target, I wonder why that was not popular?

Better news for Sir, You Are Being Hunted and Star Citizen, both of which smashed their targets, perhaps because they both had detailed concepts and videos rather than David Braben sitting in front of a camera saying “Yeah, I want to do something a bit like Elite so give me money.”

More totally exciting news about the incomparably amazeballs Curiosity experiment. Peter Molyneux has told CVG, “We have a team who have been working on 6 big new features sense last week, these are in prototype now. We are not ready to say what these are but I will give you a clue: Badgers.” Hopefully this means everyone stupid enough to continue tapping the cube will be culled by the government.

Some flamey goodness to end with, a new trailer for the multiplayer portion of Far Cry 3, check out the spectacular ‘Firestorm’ mode and then tune into TSA soon for much more on the game…



  1. Both fantastic trailers. Really excited for Aliens and Far Cry 3.
    Used to love playing Survivor mode on AVP, was quite tense, especially when you were the last left.
    MP looks much improved from FC2.

  2. i still didn’t see any female marines. >_<

    i'm guessing those new features for Curiosity are going to be the IAPs.

    i don't even bother to load it up any more, CVG have updates every day, much easier. ^_^

  3. By “soon” with Far Cry 3 he means past 5pm, that is when the embargo lifts. ;)

  4. I understand them being annoyed about the slot machines but the online game? I thought Warner had gained the rights to create that. Do they have a bathroom that shouts YOU SHALL NOT PASS! If someone is inside it? Or a loo that shouts it?

    The virtual reality suit is interesting but for it to have one crap purpose such as experiencing what it is like to be stabbed in COD is a waste of potiental. Who wants to buy something just for that? If you want to experience what it is like to get stabbed in COD, go down to the nearest pub and insult the toughest looking guy you see. Or visit Scotland and say that you are English. Or do the same in Belfast. :P

    • No, the toilet is a bit more playful with the subject matter & shouts “YOU SHALL NOT P*SS” before closing the lid rather abruptly.

      Surprisingly, not many have sold.

  5. Hahaha :-)

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