News Snatch: Tomb Raider, Hitman And A DLC Explosion

We normally start with me moaning that there is no news but not today, Snatch is fair bursting at the seams with gaming news and assorted waffle about robots taking over the Earth, in fact there is so much news this is a special edition two page Snatch! Strap yourself in Matron, here we go.


Lara Croft has proven herself to be an able swimmer in previous games but apparently not in the forthcoming reboot. A fan asked the official Tomb Raider Twitter feed if our plucky heroine would be getting wet to which they replied ‘Lara can swim, but just not in this game.’

As the main story tells of Lara being shipwrecked on a strange island it must be the driest shipwreck ever but the 2011 E3 trailer (above) seems to indicate otherwise; and other videos (like this one) also show her floundering about in water. The Twitter feed is obviously wrong and should have tweeted ‘Lara can swim but only in cut scenes when it is required by the narrative or for dramatic impact’.

The developers also revealed the main story will clock in somewhere between 12-15 hours in length and Lara will have that most modern of inventions, regenerative health.

Hey, Battlefield 3, remember that? Was bit dodgy on PS3, input lag and wonky audio? Well EA have finally got round to fixing those problems and it’s only taken precisely one year and one month to sort it out. The ‘essential multi player update’ goes live today, for full patch notes click here. Well done EA, better late than never that’s what they say (especially over at Bethesda).

The Futurlab chappies have been dropping hints about their latest PlayStation Mobile game, the latest being the theme tune which you can hear by tickling this link.

Curiosity: What’s Inside The Cube Update: It’s still a cube.

Minecon 2012 happened at Disneyland Paris last weekend and among the announcements was a version of the game for Raspberry Pi and a tech demo which lets you play the game with your eyes.

Staying with Minecraft, check out the rather clever augmented reality app that lets you view your Minecraft creations in the real world. ‘Minecraft Reality’ is available now from the App Store.

The Centre for the Study of Existential Risk (CSER) in Cambridge is to begin a study of the risks of robots destroying the human race , they have described the potential mechanical uprising as “dangerous”. We suggest they start by investigating the millions of Kinect sensors in living rooms: they study humans every day, building up a database of our strengths and weaknesses. You may think Dance Central 3 is a fun party game but no, your Xbox 360 is watching you and when the time is right… IT WILL STRIKE.

Standby for a DLC news spurt: Capcom have announced a new hard mode and a time attack challenge DLC for Dragon’s DogmaForza Horizon is to get a full blown Rally mode and the German Xbox dashboard has accidently outed 3 maps packs for Halo 4. The Crimson Map Pack (Wreckage, Harvest, Shatter) will be out on December 10th, the Majestic Map Pack (Landfall, Monolith, Skyline) is out on February 25th and the Castle Map Pack (Daybreak, Outcast, Perdition) arrives on April 1st.

The Mass Effect 3 Omega DLC launches this week and we also have news of new DLC for Max Payne 3. Entitled ‘Painful Memories’ it includes four new multi player maps, Roscoe Street Subway, Marty’s Bar, Shoot First and Canal de Panamá and a couple of new guns.

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  1. Thought it would be impossible to be looking forward to a release more than I am Tomb Raider, but the news that it won’t feature any swimming makes it even better.


    Is there a game where the shoehorned-in swimming section isn’t dire?

      • But that’s a swimming game, not a game with a shoehorned in swimming section.

      • The studio behind the swimmer game also made DOA 5 … Lots of swimsuits in THAT game too. There is the odd chance you might get motion sickness.

      • How can you shoehorn in something to a swimming game? You dont wear shoes when swimming.

        ANn don’t even suggest “Flipperhorn” because that just sounds like a randy dolphin,.

    • I’m with you on Tomb Raider, was so impressed with it at EuroGamer – it looks like a more adult version of Uncharted, more gritty – cannot wait!

  2. Seriously?

    Marketing teams don’t know how to sell a Timesplitters game?

    It’ll sell itself!

    • Nope, TS3 didnt even break 1 million sales over 3 formats. TS2 didnt sell all that well either, certaiinly no where near the 2-3m sales publishers expect these days.

      • Really?

        Sigh… This is why we can’t have nice things.

  3. Tomb Raider still looks brilliant, I couldn’t care less if you could swim or not.

  4. Timesplitters 4: Time travel, hybrid mutants, monkeys dual-wielding shotguns. It’s not a hard pitch…

    • Timesplitters 4: Monkeys with guns

      That would sell it to most

      If you don’t know how to sell Timesplitters 4 then you probably need to find a new career

    • Off topic but have to say Moshbag, your avatar rocks. Love the marx bros. Dr. Hackinabush!!

      • Haha thanks! Don’t point that beard at me, it might go off!

  5. TS4 would be very hard to sell. It’s not like it has monkey wielding banana guns,humour,a bald dude that is not a generic space marine,set in different periods of time,dual wielding monkies,monkey hockey, oh wait… So they will publish COD clones but not TS? In a market where it is full to the brim with average to bad clones of a select few games, it would be stand out. Also, they would get away with including a zombie mode as TS3 included it. Or have the zombies be disco dancers in a zombie like trance.

    Damn that Haze and it’s abilitiy to put publishers off from publishing TS4.

    Not surprised about the Capcom releasing DLC for *insert game here* bit as they are worse then EA with DLC.

    Speaking of EA, that’s pathetic. Waiting over 1 year to fix an audio bug and input lag that has been reported by the community god knows how many times. Even Bethesda managed to sort out the lag on Skyrim within a year. :O And they had a semi decent reason to take a long time to fix it due to it being a massive open world RPG.

    I really hope they don’t plan to release a hitman game every year as it would just ruin the franchise imo due to the nature of the games and people would get fed up with seeing Hitman released every year.

    • The real problem with Haze is that Free Radical got to the point where they had to release an unfinished game and despite the bad reviews (which were a little harsh) the game still charted quite highly (no.3 when GTA IV was at no.1)

      • How the feck did it managed to do that!? O-o *hires a team of detectives to figure out how that happened*

  6. At least do a ‘TimeSplitters HD Collection’ for the PS3 Crytek :P Anyway hopefully this Petition will get to 300,000 erm soon –

    Nearly at 70K now! :P

  7. I’m not that worried about a robot apocalypse:

  8. Input Lag fix….,,Yaaaassssssssss!!!!!!’

    • Congratulations! You are one of two people I know had this problem. :P

  9. Really!? There’s loads of people have this problem. 3 or 4 on my friends list alone.

    I along with many others gave up on the game altogether due to it being so bad, and its only taken them a year to give us a fix. Well done guys, no really.

    Loads of patches fixing all sorts of minor things whilst breaking others, and yet a game breaking issue like this is left untouched for near 12 months.

    A simple google search will show you a vast number of gamers suffer from input lag on BF3

    Wait, its our TV’s fault… right ?? Lol

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