News Snatch: Balls Must Fall, Mincecraft And A Sorbet Between Consoles

Greetings Snatchlings, I’m back with my thrice weekly round-up of all the scraggy bits of news from the back end of the internet and today’s Snatch is liberally seasoned with jet lag so I apologise in advance for any weirdness.


We start with the enthralling news that Jack Black will be starring in the new Double Fine game Broken Age.

Xbox One marketing and planning director Albert Penello Xbox One has revealed that the console was, as was rumoured, almost called Xbox Infinity.

“The name Xbox Infinity was in the running, I can say that,” Penello told Forbes. “They’re crafty. Who’s to say that they didn’t leak that name out in the weeks ahead of the launch? They are very crafty.”

Obviously not crafty enough to spot that infinity is infinitely greater than one.

A trailer for some new DLC for XCOM: Enemy Unknown which features squids and giant mechs, anyone who has spent a Friday night in Birmingham will be right at home.

The DLC will be just that on the PC, downloadable content, but the console versions will be packaged as a new game.

“When it came to the consoles, it was too big,” explains Firaxis senior producer Garth DeAngelis. “If we wanted to deliver the same content to the console players, we had to do it this was as a standalone expansion on a disc. We couldn’t simply just patch it in.”

Hungarian indie game developer team Pyrowind have released its first title, an “old fashioned puzzle game” called Balls Must Fall. The game is currently available for Android on Google Play and for Windows on the developer’s website.

And yes, it’s getting a mention just because the name makes the game sound like a puberty simulator.

Xbox One exclusive Zoo Tycoon will feature dynamic achievements “based on real-world animal-related events” – whatever they are. A panda having a poo in china? A tiger scoffing an antelope on the plains of Africa? That annoying Jack Russell who lives two doors down from me not barking at 6am? Who knows…

When the achievement is unlocked it will release a charity donation to a corresponding cause so you can save the world whilst using enough electricity to destroy a few more metres of the polar ice caps.

“This isn’t just a token gesture,” said Jonny Watts, CCO at Frontier Developments. “Microsoft are investing a substantial pot of money [into these charity donations]. They are really behind us with this.”

Ellen Page and Willem Dafoe discuss the beautiful drama of Beyond: Two Souls. Sadly the only thing many people will talk about is that, like Heavy Rain, the game has a naked lady in the shower.

Phwoar, eh lads?

Peter Moore has opened his mouth again and wants Microsoft to tell us when their new console will be released because he needs time to create a delicious icy treat between the Xbox One and PS4 launches.

“There’s always been a period of time, a sorbet between consoles, that has cleansed the palate and allowed us to move on. It might be a week, who knows? Microsoft needs to cough up the date.”

The Xbox 360 version of Minecraft is to be blessed with a Mass Effect themed DLC pack which you can preview in the trailer above.

On a side note I have very bad jet lag today and typed “Mincecraft” rather than Minecraft. Mincecraft sounds awesomely camp, blocky Dale Winton and Louie Spence skipping about the screen.

I have also mistyped Gamescom and “Gamescone” and that should be an actual thing, a tasty gaming themed treat to have with a nice cup of tea.

Uncharted movie news direct from the mouth of the producer, Avi Arad. After generally cocking up the first attempt to create a movie of the game by adding in Nathan Drake’s family, and then asking Seth Rogen to write the script, surely they have got it right this time?

“I think Uncharted will be very successful. It’s a father and son game.”

Oh dear.

“There are things about it that are interesting. I think the world of antiquities theft, there are many countries in the world that realised they’re being robbed and they’re trying to recoup these important pieces.”

Yes, and Nathan is the one doing the robbing, he doesn’t do recouping

Plants Vs Zombies 2 has been downloaded nearly 25 million times and played for 81,000,000 hours. I have played the game for a few hours whilst I was away but got rather bored with the game, there is an awful lot of grinding to be done.

Is it still called grinding? Rather old fashioned isn’t it? Twerking would be the modern equivalent, Plants Vs Zombies 2 has a lot of boring twerking. Yes.

And Finally, a new trailer for Ace Combat: Infinity. Maybe it will be called Ace Combat: One by the time it has launched.



  1. I can see the Uncharted movie ending up like the father and son Indiana Jones one. Let’s hope Ubisoft do a better job with the assassins movie.

    • I hope not. When people used to ask me what was my the worst film I’ve ever seen, I could never nail it down to one film, until I saw “that” Indiana Jones film. I still only consider there to be 3 films. There were some pretty terrible bits, such as the comical meerkats at the beginning, the awful and cheap military costumes, Shia Labeouf swinging through trees with the monkeys, aliens. My God it was painful to watch.

      • It is a close run thing between “that” Indie film and Highlander 2 in my book.

      • I’m yet to see the Highlander although coincidentally a friend has recently lent it to me. If you’re putting the sequel in the same bracket as The Crystal Skull, I shall avoid it at all costs! ;)

      • I wonder if Harrison Ford even read the script or just looked at the paycheck. Everything about it was wrong! The film just got worse and worse throughout, the aliens bit was especially bad.

  2. I concur with the PvZ2 grinding/twerking…those pesky 3-stars, had kinda killed the fun for me. Bring on Garden Warfare though.

  3. You could be waiting a while for a tiger to do anything in Africa!

    • I bet there is one in an African zoo, smarty pants :)

  4. Disappointing to find out Enemy Within is an expansion, rather than a full sequel. Still looking forward to it, Enemy Unknown was one of my favourite games this gen!

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