The Alternative EGX Awards

Instead of only giving generic awards such as “best of show”, we’ve decided to take an alternative approach to our EGX awards. While we’ve already done something a bit silly about the expo, it’s the weekend, and we felt the need to reinforce our craziness with giving out a bunch of non-traditional awards out to things at EGX.

Again, this stemmed from the creative minds of me, Stefan, Tuffcub, Kris, Davs, AshW92 and MiffiLou, in our pub-based post-EGX dissection. Continue reading for some alternate awards, after we get the classic best and worst game out of the way.


Best Game

I think we can all agree that the best game at EGX 2013 was Tearaway. Even if you didn’t play it, you just sort of knew that it was the best game there. While it might not be the best game once everything on show has been released release, the Expo build offered a long play of the game without much queuing, delivering a polished experience which oozed charm. The stand was also really nice, as it was made out of paper and there were lots of papercraft-y things, just like in the game! They even gave out card hats to everyone. It was the best.

Worst Game

Destiny was the worst game at EGX 2013 because it was just so hard to see what you were doing while playing. I’m not sure what the developers were aiming to show with this build, but even the controller and television you were playing it on were invisible. I queued in a line of translucent people for at least thirty minutes, then stood in front of the “game wall” for another fifteen, but still have no idea what went on in this preview build.

They had a section set off for the game, but the invisible nature of the game really didn’t help the situation, no matter how nice the statue or free posters they were giving out were. Who even makes games that you can’t see these days? Someone mentioned that the game wasn’t actually on show aside from a fancy statue and some TV screens playing a trailer, but I am 100% sure it was because it was advertised on the wristbands.


Best Particle System

I’m telling you right now – and you can quote me on this bit even though the rest of the article isn’t very serious at all – that particle effects are the must-have look for next generation games. Splitting things up into pieces is the natural evolution of video games, so much so that I’m surprised the PS4 is one solid block.

At EGX, plenty of games had mad particle effects, one of which was Knack. While that was good, it was really Housemarque’s Resogun that showed off how throwing around thousands of little blocks could make a game look better. It was like that episode of Doctor Who with the cubes, but as if they had all poured them into a big swimming pool along with some spaceships.

Best 30fps Racer

DriveClub is the best racer running at just thirty frames per second. In fact, it’s staggering just how good it looks while it has a refresh rate of just 30Hz. The frame rate is really solid and it’s a really great game, despite being just thirty per second. If there were any other games running at thirty frames per second, then there might be a massive backlash, but DriveClub pulls it off and manages to look and play really well.

DriveClub 400-2

Greatest Interview Segment

This doesn’t just apply to our interviews with developers at EGX, but rather to any and all interviews that have ever been recorded. We got Mike Bithell, developer of Thomas Was Alone and upcoming PlayStation timed exclusive Volume to talk along to Santa Claus Is Coming to Town after comparing his game to Santa Claus.

Then he went and ruined it all by saying that he wanted to get some toe-shoes, once the interview was finished.

Most Random Homoerotic Gaming Moment

Kris had some time with Assassin’s Creed IV, and was rather… confused by the whale-hunting section:

One of the best things about the Assassin’s Creed series is seeing periods of history that are often skimmed over and learning bits and pieces about them. For example Black Flag has taught me that that only way to go whaling is to strip to the waist. Sailing your ship? A shirt is required. However, if you want to throw harpoons at whales or sharks then a shirt is, apparently, an unnecessary encumbrance. Maybe the sight of all those bare muscles intimidates the kings of the sea?

Most Generous Sponsor

Virgin Media were the best sponsor at EGX, because they gave us two tickets to give away to one of you. Now, obviously if you didn’t win the ticket then you might not think that, but we can assure you that this award is wholeheartedly deserved.


Outstanding Achievement For Quote On An Advert In Earls Court Tube Station*

This one on the left was simply staggering.

Most Accommodating Restaurant In London

Pizza Hut.

Strangest Theory About A Game On Show

Octodad is a game where you have to pretend to be a loving father and husband, all while concealing your true identity as an octopus. Between us, though mainly Tef if you want someone to blame, we came up with an interesting theory on how the game will play out, and how it might seem a bit darker than you think.

Naturally, the interspecies breeding of a human and an octopus is going to pose problems for maintaining his secret identity. What happens in the hospital, after his wife has given birth to baby squid octuplets? How far will Octodad go to keep his identity secret?

A mission in which you have to switch the name tags from your children to those of 100% human parentage, possibly whilst in disguise as a doctor – Doctor Octopus, so to speak – and with the pressure of doing all of this under the steady gaze of nurses and new parents.

Not to mention the slimey, squishy suffocation someone should succumb to if they did discover Octodad’s true identity…

Greatest Art In The EGX Gallery**

This art by Lewis Gaston was 100 percent the best art on show:

Most Apt Interview Location

We spoke to the developers of Surgeon Simulator in the back of an ambulance. How cool is that? I mean, it’s not quite interviewing Forza developers while racing around in a car or interviewing an Octopus in a suit about Octodad, but it was an extremely suitable location for an interview.

Top Four Overheard Quotes From EGX

  • “Yeah, [FIFA 14] is good, but it’s no PES 06.”
  • “How can that be an 18? It’s not even out yet!”
  • “[Killzone Shadow Fall] is like Tokyo Jungle, with all the skyscrapers.”
  • “I opened the skull and removed the brain.”

Worst Article About EGX Queues

This one.

*We may be biased.
**Yes, still biased, but it really was.


  1. Pizza Hut was amazing, as was the pub. So happy to have been a part of TSA’s best two silly EGX articles ;)
    I really think Tef needs to flesh out his Octodad theory into a full fan fiction. Want to see how dark and twisted he can make it!

    • Just look at how shifty his eyes look in that header! He’s EEEVIL!

  2. Lewis’s artwork is awesome, the Limbo one is great!

  3. The particle effects on Resogun were amazing. It was my game of the show.

  4. Velocity X2 was the best game, not Tearaway. That’s just Blair’s massive “ooh it looks like Nintendo” bias.

  5. That Tube advert is fairly sexy, i’d have grabbed a pic too ;)

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