We Pity The Fools: The Best And Worst Gaming Related Jokes From Today

It’s the annual day of japes, leg pulling, buckets of custard perched on doors and utterly ridiculous PR emails from publishers across the globe. But who has has made an effort this year? Have the hastily cobbled together something or have they gone that extra mile and produced something so convincing it might have tricked us like a tricksy cunning fox? Join me as we look at today’s japes in our new, completely one off feature We Pity The Fools!


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Our first tricksters are the lovely chaps and lady chaps down at Futurlab who have tweeted the picture above, claiming a physical version of Velocity X2 is being packaged with a PS4 and PS Vita this summer. There’s a nice mention of “Quarp Tech” on the box and you had to admit it looks stunning, in fact we would never unbox the console if this really existed.


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Rebellion have announced “the next EVIL-ution of dance games” with the Zombie Army Thrill-ogy, coming to all platforms today. This must have taken quite a while to produce with a step prefect rendition of the Thriller dance, but we can’t help but feel zombie Hitler bust moves is just a little wrong.


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Swedish store Webhallen is offering the world’s first Neural Implant Dev Kit.


If you head over to Google Maps, and find a suitable location, then you’ll be able to play Pac-Man in that area, as it renders a Pac-Maze on the location of your choosing.


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A cunning individual has created this website for The Battle of Midle-earth 3: The Battle of the Five Armies. Whilst it looks almost official, the website is hosted on Go Daddy, a cunning clue that this is all a big joke.


Grinding Gear Games have announced that Path of Exile has had a “cat-astrophic” bug which has flooded the game with kittys.

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During the week of March 23rd, one of our senior gameplay programmers was performing a routine refactor on our core skill code. In preparation for our upcoming expansion, changes were made to the functionality of Trigger Gems. The goal of the refactor was to improve the reliability of the gems that trigger spells on various conditions – Cast on Death, Cast When Damage Taken, etc. During this process, the names of the gems were entered by hand. Unfortunately, due to a combination of tiredness and the programmer’s previously undiagnosed Toxoplasmosis infection, the word “Cast” was entered as “Cats” for these gems.

Unbeknownst to the programmer, the consequences of this small typo were severe.


Top marks to Sony for combing two of the hottest products in one slickly produced video. Wearable tech and VR are meshed together for the new PlayStation Flow.


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Samsung had a similar idea and have created the ultimate gadget for cooks, the first “smart knife” with smartphone capabilities which offers a 50% speed improvement for chopping.

“Samsung has revolutionized the cooking knife’s surface tension – making sure that your fresh organic shitake mushrooms or wild Perigord black truffles don’t stick to the edge when you’re cutting them.”


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Over in Japan, Taito have announced the Spa Arcade where you can play classic video games whilst having a nice steam and sauna. We think this is a great idea and should happen immediately.


Peripheral maker Corsair has announced a new mechanically gaming mouse that has B.I.G. balls. Apparently they have been inspecting balls of all sizes and shapes for months.


Google Panda. Nope, not fooling anyone with that.


Blizzard are always on the mark with their April Fools and this year they have announced that you will soon be able to ‘swipe left’ within the game.

Just because you’re stuck on Draenor fighting a constant, desperate battle for survival doesn’t mean there isn’t time for love. Coming in Patch 6.1.4, we’re introducing a new feature designed to help your Followers locate the perfect complement to their Abilities and Traits—the T.I.N.D.R. Box!

Find companions for your companions, and steer the boat of love to safe harbor.

Acquiring a T.I.N.D.R. Box is easy! Similar to the S.E.L.F.I.E. camera, you’ll be given a random mission in your Garrison that will award a T.I.N.D.R. Box. It can then be applied to any level 100 Follower just like any other upgrade, and that Follower—armed with their new dating gadget—will spend countless hours swiping left and right as they meander through your Garrison, overriding whatever task you’ve assigned them to.”


Rovio’s Angry Birds are going farming, but that doesn’t explain the cross-dressing dominatrix bird, or the horror section.


And Finally, the one that made me laugh the most, Subterranean Games War for the Overworld: Australian Edition.

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7 Comments

  1. With that Velocity bundle, I’m inclined to agree with someone who said that some jokes are more along the lines of broken dreams. I mean, it would be awesome to genuinely have a Velocity art-styled PS4.

  2. The joke about the sony water VR is they could actually mean it knowing them & their toys

  3. Is Mother 3 getting localised yet?

    The Australian one was good though, I had a giggle.

  4. Playstation Flow looks like a hardware peripheral which might have potential, would likely only ever be used for one game and then never heard of again. Looking at my dusty collection of Playstation cameras and glowing ball wand things, are you sure this isn’t a real product?

  5. i gotta admit, the name Flow makes me think of a very different product.

    the words “wearable tech” and “flow”, well you can probably guess where my mind went. ^_^

    and that WFTO one, bloody hilarious.

  6. and Nintendo did……

    a stream on April’s Fools day without any hints of it being their April Fools. Either they have something up their sleeves or forgot April 1st was one of those dates to be avoided.

    A lot of the jokes were a bit average and some, just awful.

    • But it’ll be April 2nd here in Europe by the time it starts. Perhaps there isn’t actually a direct tonight though, and it was all a ruse. The meltdown would be both glorious and sad.

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