Good news everyone, W*nking Simulator gets a demo tomorrow!

Titter ye not, the highly anticipated Wanking Simulator is getting a demo on Steam tomorrow which will allow players to roam a town, cause chaos, and then frantically masturbate whilst enjoying the carnage to score points. I’m sure that’s a metaphor for something but I’m not entirely sure what.

There’s a trailer pixelates the private parts of your character but you do get to see the motion and, uh, sound effects, so it’s Not Safe For Work.


“The best wanking experience known to mankind, from the comfort of your home,” is the description on the Steam Store. I am sure some hand shandy masters will disagree with that statement, but whatever.

Rather amazingly, Wanking Simulator has a plot.

You play as Winston Gay, a man whose house was taken away by the corrupt government after being called out for wanking too loud by his neighbors. Now, Winston is on a mission to make everyone in the town pay a price for taking away his home.

Wanking Simulator is a mix of destruction & wanking – you are thrown into a town called Gay Bay consisting of a church (God bless), a number of houses and a few other places, such as high school, a garage, etc.
The main goal is to destroy as many things as possible before getting caught by the police and collect points by wanking to the chaos we caused.
You are free to go wherever you want and destroy anything you want.
Our protagonist is given unlockable superpowers, such as making gravity weaker, spawning a rifle in your panties, teleport, etc.

Well who doesn’t want to spawn a rifle in their panties now and then?

The game comes from a Polish developer Mr CiastKu who seems to have carved his own niche in the gaming market, previous titles include Don’t Get Caught and it’s two sequels.

The first game is a “pleasing simulator with horror elements,” in which you jack off and try not get caught by your mother. The second title find you in an office where you, er, jack off and try not get caught. The third game has you hitching rides in stranger’s cars as you are now homeless due to your furious masturbating. You decide to sort your life out by… oh, no that’s not right, you just jerk your man meat again.

Source: Steam

Written by
News Editor, very inappropriate, probs fancies your dad.


  1. Let’s hope this doesn’t become a popular gaming concept or they’ll have to beat off some stiff competition.

  2. Oh dear. It’s going to go downhill from here, isn’t it?

    Let’s see if we can avoid it. I know it’s hard, but if we try, we can pull it off.

  3. I’m afraid it is coming whether you like or not.

  4. They’ve got to have a lot of balls to do this, let’s hope it’s not a dick move.

  5. Wonder if it’ll cum early?

  6. I expect they will hold back release as long as possible.

  7. Some of these comments are a bit premature are they not?

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