When Death Stranding launched on PlayStation 4 Hideo Kojima stated very clearly that you would never see Norman Reedus’ willy when he was relieving himself in the game. No matter where you placed the camera the elusive trouser snaked remained hidden from view.
The game is now out on PC and that means modders can get their hands on the game and they have, quite rightly, decided to let the world see Norm’s pleasure pump. However, it seems Kojima really didn’t want anyone to see Norm’s junk as it simply does not exist, it was never modelled. When Sam, Norman’s character, takes a tinkle he is holding thin air and urine appears to stream from an empty space.
I am very sorry to report that when Sam takes a piss in Death Stranding, with camera hacks, there is no penis to be discovered. pic.twitter.com/frHV54TRvP
— Lance McDonald (@manfightdragon) July 15, 2020
As the story for the game involves another dimension we could be generous and suggest Sam’s sausage is actually located somewhere else and he’s peeing through a dimensional rift, but we’re not, Kojima just didn’t give the character a ding-dong.
It could also be a sneaky reference to Metal Gear Solid V, check out this definition from Wikipedia “Phantom pain is a perception that an individual experiences relating to a limb or an organ that is not physically part of the body.”
Given that every other part of Mr. Reedus is seen in the game, with cut scenes lingering over his honed buttocks and meaty calves, fans are very disappointed with this final reveal. “It’s outrageous!” said Mable Wiggins of Scunthorpe, “I’ve waited patiently for the PC version of the game so I can get a cheeky look a Norm’s baby maker and I have been denied my pleasure!”
“I demand the game is remade,” commented Arther P. Troll on the Internet, “I shall be starting a petition and sending hate tweets to all involved in production of the game.”
Some fans are now working had to define the distance between Norman’s body and where the urine stream begins so they can mathematically model the missing schlong. Unlike the rest of this post, that is not a joke, they are actually doing that.
Mr. Reedus has yet to comment on his absent dingleberry.