Contrary to popular belief, the best Borderlands game wasn’t made by Gearbox, it came courtesy of Telltale. The 2014-15 Tales from the Borderlands put the shooty-looty stuff to one side, taking the world of Pandora and crafting a thoroughly enjoyable story within it. Following the demise (and rebirth) of Telltale, it looked as though we’d never get to experience another narrative adventure set in the crazy sci-fi world of Vault Hunters. And yet, here we are. New Tales from the Borderlands does exactly what its name suggests, bringing in a batch of new protagonists for you to toy with within the Borderlands universe. It doesn’t, however, seem to totally know what to do with them.
You’ve got three playable characters in New Tales from the Borderlands, with each of their tales interconnecting. While they sound fantastic, they’re not the most likeable bunch. Octavio is a street kid with a hoodie-full of attitude, and with dreams of making it big in this world. It’s a shame that he doesn’t know how to make those dreams into reality, and that he’s a bit of a coward.
His sister, Abu, clearly received the family’s share of intellect and ambition, as we meet her working for the Atlas Corporation as a scientist. Her life’s work has culminated in the construction of a device that replicates the power of the Sirens, but it’s not quite there yet. She’s then unceremoniously sent to the unemployment line by Rhys Strongfork – returning here without Troy Baker’s voice – thanks to an idealistic streak that sees her releasing all of the company’s test subjects. The whole thing is then put on hold by a very aggressive takeover attempt by Tediore.
Your final playable character is Fran, and she’s the most interesting and likeable of the bunch. She’s a surprisingly horny frozen yoghurt store owner who’s waiting for an insurance payout – a Maliwan laser destroyed part of her store – while battling some serious anger issues. She’s in an anger management program, but the Tamagotchi-like sponsor doesn’t really help her out. She’s also bound to a hover wheelchair, and it’s great to see New Tales from the Borderlands score a clear victory for representation and inclusivity. The fact she’s the most exciting character here only helps matters.
There are some other very cool and amusing characters outside of this trio, at least. L0U13 is an assassin droid with the kind of literal understanding of the world that would make Drax the Destroyer blush. Though of course, he can’t blush because he is green. You get my point. My other favourite was Radon, a demolition expert who looks like a short Salvador, a delightful, if underutilised, addition to the cast.
If you’ve played one of Telltale’s narrative adventures, or indeed a point-and-click game from any time in the last thirty years, then you’ll be perfectly at home with the gameplay here; wander around a batch of locations interacting with characters and objects as you search for the next element that moves the plot forward. Add in a batch of exceedingly simple mini-games and that’s just about it.
The mini-games are actually almost obscenely straightforward, often requiring little more than hammering a single button. Octavio has a cool  watch that lets you hack into devices around you, with various steps to perform in order to complete the hack. What could have been an opportunity for some puzzles and brainteasers generally amounts to hammering a single button.
It asks you to close a batch of pop-ups, but you don’t even need to move the cursor. It asks you to shoot digital bugs, but it’s just a case of waiting for them to move under your fixed reticule. There’s a host of things they could have done to add some challenge/fun/excitement, but they seem to have decided to do the opposite at every turn.
The biggest miss here is Vaultlanders. This fictional game sees you playing with a batch of Borderlands-themed action figures, and at various points you’re challenged to a bout, with the winner taking the loser’s prized figurine. It’s nice to collect things in games, so that’s pleasant enough, but where there could have been some kind of tabletop tactics or puzzling to be done, it’s just mashing the mouse button and the occasional bit of dodging. The recurring appearance of a Vaultlanders superfan are at least some of the funniest scenes in the game.
New Tales from the Borderlands looks, and sounds, excellent. The level of technology levied on this narrative game is unprecedented, bringing in Gearbox’s knowledge from Borderlands 3 and utterly eclipsing Telltale’s output. They’ve used motion capture to help bring the characters to vivid life, with impressively realistic facial animations to complete the effect. Add in some excellent voice acting from the entire cast, which includes Michelle Rambharose and Lucia Frangione, and it’s clear that a huge amount of effort has gone into this release.
All that hard work on the production values doesn’t seem to have been lavished on making the narrative anywhere near as exciting or involving as the original Tales from the Borderlands. There are some amusing moments, like an advert for runes while searching for wisdom from ancient carvings, or Space College being called Spollege, but they’re wry smile-type moments rather than accidentally-spray-your-drink-across-your-PC ones.
These glimpses of mirth are reflected by the occasional appearance of a blockbusting action scene, like an extended battle against an immense and deeply ugly vault monster, but there’s far too many ho-hum pauses between them where you’re just watching and waiting, or being occasionally tripped up by a quick-time event. I did want to see the end and I liked the characters well enough for that, but I was hoping it would come sooner than it did.
The most fun in New Tales from the Borderlands probably comes from playing dress up with each of the characters, and there’s a steadily expanding range of skins to lavish them with. Anu’s, a doctor, stretch the reality of the situation though, and you end up seeing science scenes playing out while she’s dressed like a crop-top wearing Pandorian street kid. It’s at least slightly balanced by how great Fran looks as a goth or jock.
One of Tales from the Borderlands defining strengths was its use of music at pivotal moments, and it’s a shame that, as with the rest of package, New Tales once again can’t manage to replicate the original’s high-points. Music is a very personal medium, so perhaps it just rests with me, but none of the tracks chosen here had the same impact as Jungle’s Busy Earnin’ or The Rapture’s Pieces of The People That We Love. The soundtrack kept falling flat and feeling far too much like cheesy advertorials rather than genre-defining moments.
