Meet The Staff: Tuffcub

The special How To Becomes we had planned are very busy so you’ll have to make do with another staff member. This week brings you Tuffcub. No-one is quite sure of his real name but it is believed to be Timothy Zeus Langdon III, or something along those lines. Now you see why we call him TC.

Name: Tuffcub, TC or Tuff.
Age: 36 going on 21.
Birthplace: The middle of nowhere, Oxfordshire.
Living now: London
Trophy Level: 12, 10%

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Q: We all enjoy your smut on TheSixthAxis, but what do you do to relax when you aren’t treading that very thin line?

A: I don’t get a lot of free time so it’s usually a movie on Blu-ray or catching up on TV with iPlayer. Or sleeping. I like sleeping. If there was an Olympics for sleeping, I would win gold.

Q: TuffCub sounds like Naughty Bear’s riotous offspring but where did it come from and in real life do you have any other nicknames?

A: About 15 years ago I went clubbing in America for the first time. I got dressed and met all my mates. They, all being American, were in baggy jeans and skater gear and I was in my usual clubbing outfit (for the 90s), combat trousers, boots and black vest. They all pissed themselves laughing and made loads of “Tough guy” comments – I was a bit fitter in those days – and the ‘Cub’ is a name used within the gay community for youngish furry big chap (I’m 6’5″ – it seems most of theTSA staff are big lads). All my friends call me TC, I don’t think half of them know me real name. No other nickname has stuck, I’ve been TC since university.

Q: You like to flaunt your Massive Poll’s both online and outside. This must have lead to some embarrassing stories by now.

A: Actually nothing embarrasses me these days apart from some hideous fashion choices in the past (bleached jeans, ripped, and then re-dyed red for a sort of “sunburnt zebra” effect? What was I thinking?!) One thing I’m not proud of is that a character heavily based on me in a series of three “adult” *nudge nudge wink wink* novels is always described as having a “dopey expression”. Not the sexiest of descriptions. I complained to the author (an ex of mine) who then made a point of describing me as dopey in the next two books. He thought it was hilarious.

For the record I have never “flaunted my massive poll” outside, how dare you suggest such a thing. I am a very modest and shy cub, I would never do that. Perhaps a bit of dogging at weekends, but that’s it (those Modern Warfare 2 night visions goggles coming in handy).

Q: What about your better half? Do they enjoy a little gaming?

A: He does, he’s currently playing Heavy Rain and Shatter. We usually settle any arguments (e.g. who is making coffee in the morning) with a Bomberman death match.

Q: How did your gaming passion begin?

A: My dad bought a Vic 20 and it started there. I really got in to in the days of the Amiga, I managed to get a letter in 24 consecutive issues of ‘hat stand’ Amiga & ST magazine “Zero” and I won a competition for gaming legends The Bitmap Brothers. The prize was they used a quote of mine to promote their game ‘Gods’ – it was just the word “Spankworthy!”

Q: And which game does, and always will, make you hot under the collar?

A: R-Type. Please please please can we have a decent PS3 version Irem? No 3D, no tactics, no pseudo board game guff, just a side scrolling shooter, one hit and you’re dead. That’s proper gaming – none of the regenerating health bar nonsense!

Q: It’s a well known fact that you’re a DJ. How is this going and do you have any other jobs at this point?

A: Actually Djing is not my “day” job, I work as a Risk Manager for a commodity broker in Mayfair, I DJ now and then, the last time was at Ministry Of Sound. I also work for hard dance super club ‘Riot!’ which is held down at the O2 (Millennium Dome). On top of that I’ve got a mash-up album coming out the second week of April,and Universal records will be spending about £1 million promoting it so I’d quite like to sell a few copies, please buy one. I auditioned for ‘Lost’ last time I was out in Hawaii, how’s that for random? Got stopped in the street and asked if I would do an audition. All this makes me sound like an international playboy. I’m not; I’m just a jammy git who always seem to be in the right place at the right time.

Q: Finally, what would you like to say to the readers?

A: Thank you for putting up with me, and keep on voting!

And thank you, Timothy Zeus Langdon III, for keeping your answers as clean as possible. Remember to keep an eye out for Tuffcub’s appearances in the novels and check back next week for either Meet The Staff or How To Become.

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