Keith Vaz’s Face Prevents Humans Feeling Charitable: Science

This morning, I wrote a little report about Keith Vaz MP requesting debating time to discuss the “harmful effects of violent video games”. He wanted the UK’s legislative assembly to dedicate some of their valuable time (paid for with our increasingly less valuable money), to talk about negative aspects of games. The study he used as reasoning for why this was relevant again was the recent findings of Indiana University School of Medicine’s Dr. Yang Wang.

Dr. Wang concluded that, after his short term study of just 22 people, videogames had “a long-term effect on brain functioning”. That’s science. Oh, in the interests of full disclosure, I should point out that Dr. Wang’s totally scientific investigation was funded by a campaign group that takes an explicit stance against videogames.

So, in the interests of furthering scientific discovery, I asked for people to fill out my own little psychological test which is about as watertight a method of clinical evaluation as you’re ever likely to encounter. At the time my intense study yielded this initial report, I’d had 46 respondents. That means that my study is officially two-and-a-bit times more scientific than Dr. Wang’s. There’s bound to be a scale or something to prove that claim and if there’s not, I’ll just draw one in MS Paint.

Here are my results:

So there you have it: Keith Vaz’s handsome smiling visage is very good for political reform but not so good for charitable donations. Sorry, charity, you’re bang out of luck.

Just so we’re clear, my own scientific study was conducted without any outside funding whatsoever and I didn’t even pay much attention to it all morning. I just clicked into the relevant tab on my web browser, posted a forum thread and sent a couple of tweets. It’s irrefutable science, though, I think we can all agree on that.

Disclaimer: Obviously, this is just a bit of fun rather than actual science. Please don’t quote my “results” anywhere, unless it’s on a funding application for further research. Or if Mr. Vaz would like to use a quote for his CV, perhaps?

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21 Comments

  1. i find myself veering towards the blue end of that scale for some reason.
    weird that. o_O

  2. This almost certainly deserves a Nobel Prize.

  3. One of the best, most funny TSA articles in its history. Superb, CB!

  4. I’m half surprised Keithie-V didn’t cite Christwire somewhere along the way: http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-children-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuvers/

  5. I mailed him the results of this study :D, ill let you know if he responds to it.

  6. Maybe his face should have a PEGI rating?

  7. Can we ban Keith Vaz as he causes people to punch him in the face?

    I wonder if he will try to attack TSA(if he visits which i doubt)for this?

  8. Pioneering scientifica study! Maybe this kind of investigation should be conducted on all MPs to investigate the effects of their presence :3

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