Ratings board reveals you can get off your t*ts and on someone else’s in Assassin’s Creed Valhalla

The Entertainment Software Rating Board, or the ESRB to you and me, has rated Ubisoft’s forthcoming Assassin’s Creed Valhalla and as you might expect from the series it is quite gory. Here is the text from the rating.

Players also use swords, axes, arrows, and siege weapons to kill multiple enemies (e.g., soldiers, mythic boss characters) in frenetic melee-style combat. Combat is highlighted by screams of pain and frequent blood-splatter effects. Some weapons allow players to decapitate enemies; zoomed-in sequences depict victims’ bones, organs, and muscles getting damaged by players’ blade.

There is also drug use, with “screen distortion/discoloration and impaired movements after players’ character consumes mushrooms or inhales mushroom-based fumes.” According to the ESRB one of the lines of dialogue is “I may still be buzzing from these mushrooms,” which is a rather modern phrase, in fact it’s first recorded use was in 1935 when it was used to describe a “pleasant sense of intoxication”.

The game also includes sexy time albeit in a very prudish manner. A mission takes place in a brothel with topless women and you can “lay” with someone, but the screen fades to black before the characters get jiggy. Vikings were fond of a bit of man on man action so you can romance both male and female character, “A good plough-sword is a rare thing,” apparently.

AC Valhalla follows Eivor as they leave Norway to seek a new home in England. Eivor can be either male or female and is heavily customisable. A returning element will be creating a village settlement that acts as the hub for Eivor and their fellow Vikings, which you’ll be looking to grow through your time with the game, with the story centred around this element (and potential romances as well). A raven is to be Eivor’s animal companion to help explore the world, replacing the eagles from previous Assassin’s Creed games.

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla should include these 5 fun Viking facts

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla will be out on 17th November for PlayStation 4, Xbox One, PC and Google Stadia. It will also release on PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X. For the home consoles, there are free cross-gen upgrades, with one way using Smart Delivery on Xbox.

Source: ESRB

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News Editor, very inappropriate, probs fancies your dad.