3D platformers used to rule the roost in gaming but they’re now relegated to a supporting role – aside from a certain Mario Mario that is. Most new titles in this style are unapologetically aiming for a nostalgia fix with aesthetics and level design to match. While this leads to excellent games like A Hat in Time it can have more mixed results such as the much-maligned Yooka-Laylee (which I enjoyed, to be honest). Bang-on Balls Chronicle does play like an old-school 3D platformer but is less slavishly nostalgic in its presentation – instead going balls deep into a puerile and crude feel that will probably turn away as many players as it attracts.
If the title alone wasn’t enough to get a feel for the bodily-inspired humour that dominates here then the fact that there is a dedicated fart button (although where exactly the balls’ butts are located is unclear anatomically). If this weren’t apparent enough then add in that every single trophy/achievement in the game is unlocked by farting in specific locations/situations and you have an idea of the level of humour involved. I’m no prude – and bodily jokes have a proud legacy going back to the very earliest recorded comedy – but the not-quite scatological focus here becomes wearying very quickly. It doesn’t commit quite as much as the gross-out Hell Pie from last year and therefore feels incredibly one-note (even if that note is a brown one). This is particularly unfortunate as the actual gameplay is solid and there are some good level design elements going on here.
The overarching narrative behind all this farting and ball action is slight at best. You have to follow a tyrannical actor through a series of vaguely blockbuster film inspired locations to prove your worth or something. I’ll be honest I didn’t really follow that part of things and it adds little to the game aside from an excuse for an end game boss battle. The locations themselves are a real highlight of the game and range from a Viking battlefield to a surprisingly complex depiction of Japan from feudal to modern days.
Exploring the levels is fun but your spherical avatar is a little limited in terms of navigation. You can double-jump and dash and use various lifts and trampolines etc to get to difficult spots, as well as use enemies as jumping off points. This all works fine as far as it goes but there isn’t the complexity you get in the genre’s best games (lack of glide etc). Levels do often benefit from a good amount of verticality but this can also lead to frustration when the camera doesn’t keep up and you fall down.
The camera is not terrible and mostly keeps up with the action but it does struggle with climbing large structures and boss fights can leave your view stuck behind the level architecture. This is very occasional and certainly not game-breaking but it is worthy of mention. Basic attacks involve dashing into and jumping on enemies and don’t require a great deal of precision but you can unlock various weapons and abilities that don’t always work as well as they might with the camera.
The sheer depth and range of unlockables is dizzying, with dozens of costumes, weapons, companion pets etc. dotted around the levels. Some are in chests, others are rewards for defeating powerful enemies, whilst still more need to be bought from merchant orbs. While the bulk of these are purely cosmetic they do mean that you can customise your ball to look exactly how you want which is a nice touch in this age of cosmetic DLC and micro-transactions.
I rocked a pride flag skin for most of the game and mixed this up with a Viking beard and Thor’s hammer for lightning attacks before switching this out late in the game for a quad barrel shotgun. There are skins for almost every national flag you could think of too so you can go patriotic with your balls if you wish.
Levels are large and expansive, with various sub-missions and hidden challenges scattered across them. Each of the main 4 levels at present can be finished relatively quickly if you just focus on the primary objectives but finding every movie reel (equivalent to Mario 64’s stars) and caged ball will take you a lot longer – not to mention the grind required to find and buy every accessory and costume. Bang-on Balls has more content than an abstinent teenager, if you want to drain it.
