Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2

In a bid to ensure we get more column inches in the national gaming press, all our posts will now be formatted as per this one.  This will enable our efforts to be more accurately scored and will allow the national gaming press a clearer idea of which bits of our stuff they should include.

To start off with, we present the Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2 press release, TSA-style.

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Corporate

KOEI Ltd. is a subsidiary of Japanese company KOEI Co., Ltd. and has had offices in Hertfordshire, UK since 2003. KOEI maintains operations in Japan, the US, UK, Canada, China, Korea, France, Taiwan, Singapore, and Lithuania. KOEI employs over 900 people worldwide with sales exceeding $250 million. The company constantly seeks to achieve a fine balance between entertainment, technology, art and education and provides games that will mesmerize gamers globally. The Warriors series of games have generated a combined 18 million units in global sales.

Factual

DYNASTY WARRIORS®: GUNDAM®2 EXPLODES INTO 2009

DYNASTY WARRIORS: GUNDAM 2 to deliver more massive mobile suits, melee combat mayhem and online versus play.

Hertfordshire, UK- September 3, 2008 – KOEI today announced the European release of DYNASTY WARRIORS®: GUNDAM®2 for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, and PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system.

“KOEI’s next gen assault was spearheaded by DYNASTY WARRIORS: GUNDAM in 2007 to tremendous effect with it proving to be a huge hit across the globe. With every feature within the game ramped up to the max DYNASTY WARRIORS: GUNDAM 2 will be bigger, better and more spectacular in every way.” Said Will Curley, Sales Manager for KOEI Ltd.

In the future, rebel space colonies launch a brutal war of independence with a series of coordinated orbital strikes against planet Earth. The chaotic assault signals the dawn of a new age of combat and the ultimate instrument of warfare is born, the Mobile Suit.

About DYNASTY WARRIORS: GUNDAM 2
DYNASTY WARRIORS: GUNDAM 2 combines the devastating power of the Mobile Suit, the rich legacy of the GUNDAM universe and the furious Tactical Action game play of the DYNASTY WARRIORS series. The game will thrust players into incredible battles against legions of enemy Mobile Suits on distant planetary surfaces and in the far reaches of outer space. For the first time, DYNASTY WARRIORS: GUNDAM 2 will let players engage in melee battles against colossal enemies such as the Psycho Gundam. The massive Psycho Gundam can quickly reconfigure their bodies into titanic mobile fortresses which can move with remarkable speed. However, highly-trained pilots can utilize their own Mobile Suit’s speed, agility, and of course firepower to defeat these deadly juggernauts.

DYNASTY WARRIORS: GUNDAM 2 will also include new stories featuring mecha from the latest Gundam anime, plus mecha from Char’s Counter Attack and more. With mecha parts collected throughout the course of the game, players will be able to adapt a Mobile Suit which can be piloted into combat.

Developed by KOEI’s award-winning Omega Force team, DYNASTY WARRIORS: GUNDAM 2 will also include online versus play. For more information please visit www.koei.co.uk

Casual

Massive mecha, massive combat, massive damage: Dynasty Warriors is back with a massive Gundam twist.  The Mobile Suits are speedy and agile and skilled pilots will soon be dealing death on the many and varied adversaries.  New story lines are promised and also online versus play will make an appearance.

If you like your fighting, robots, explosives, carnage, and murderous electronics, this is the game for you.

Funny

Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2 sounds like Heaven, but without the beardy bloke making you feel guilty ‘cos he died for your sins.  Although initial disappointment that the new ‘Mobile Suits’ aren’t graphical representations of scummy, creativity-sapping publishers ripe for savage dismemberment, the fact that they are actually nifty and nippy mobile war machines is some comfort.

We were going to re-write the press release and give you lots of information in our usual razor-sharp manner, however the level of hyperbole generated through over-use of big words has left us reeling more than Robinho when he realised which Manchester team he had actually signed for.  So, instead we present a little game of ‘paint by numbers’, which is actually ‘press release by big words’.  Use these words, re-arrange them, get a Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2 press release.

colossal, remarkable, massive, speed, independence, coordinated, chaotic, assault, ultimate, titanic, fortresses, thrust, incredible, juggernauts, mecha, Mobile, Suit, firepower, legions, skilled, damage
You can also use as many of these words as you need to concoct a brilliant press release:

the, to, do, and, will, when, of, should, have, be, too, w00t!, that, they, fact, casual, corporate, funny

Best one wins my praise.  Ask nofi – it doesn’t happen often.

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