PSP Is A Failure!

This is a PS3 site.  However, sometimes I am confused with my 3s and my Ps, so when I see news for PS3 I think it’s for the entirely fictitious 3SP.  Right now though I’ve got some PS3 news which happens to actually be news about the PSP.  Given that it’s late and odd voices have been spouting gibberish via my phone all night, I decided the news-demons wanted you to know.

It seems that the well known failure that is the PSP, the handheld with fewer sales than last month’s Transfer Window, is in fact a disaster.  Word of this has come direct from Sony, with the following words: “…the cumulative worldwide sell-in units of PSP…reached a total of 50 million units as of January 2009.”

We can only congratulate Sony on the scale of this epic failure.  Their provision of a cutting-edge handheld with a screen to die for, broad functionality, and forward thinking ideas like Remote Play has quite obviously been a disaster.  I mean, 50 million – rubbish.  The news is hardly softened by the cumulative sell-in figure of 200 million software units.  Tsk.

Now then, I figured this was worthy of further scrutiny, so I have come up with a list of other handheld devices and their relative success compared to PSP.

Penis: An astonishing attach rate, but as a free service 3 billion units is still £0 – PSP Win.

Pencil: At the sharp end of many a business, but we’re led to believe profits are being rubbed out – PSP Win.

Cutlery: A total stab in the dark here, their 4-pronged assault may be profitable spoon – PSP Win.

Mugs: Now, we don’t wish to make a cup of ourselves…no wait, that doesn’t sound right – PSP Win.

Books: You’re losing the plot if you think these things are better than PSP – PSP Win.

So, there you have it.  Sony’s PSP is actually an epic win.

Now can everyone stop banging on about its failure – please?