My Top Ten: Motorcycle Games

I like motorcycles but I don’t ride one myself due to being too fond of a comfortable chair and a roof when I’m getting from A to B. I do, however, like to live vicariously through video games. Here’s my favourite instances of motorcycles in video games, use the comments to let us know yours.

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  • Road Rash – Can anyone think of a better scenario than this: Californian highways, powerful motorcycles, multiple people to race and punch in the head. It’s just perfect. Even just typing this out I’ve got the theme music running in my head. EA, if you’re reading, please give me a downloadable HD remake with online play for the stores. You can charge whatever you want for it, I’ll save up.
  • 3D Deathchase – My personal first experience riding a video-game motorcycle was with this game. It was on the ZX Spectrum 48K we used to have connected to a black and white TV in the kitchen (and eventually a colour TV that looked like it fell of the ark when Noah threw the rudder round a bit too sharply). Race a motorcycle through a forest and try to shoot two enemy bikes. Apparently PlayStation Home parodied it in their alternate reality game “Xi”. If they’d told me that I might have ventured into Home…
  • Super Hang On – You can keep your SBK09 and your MotoGP series. This was real motorcycle video-game racing. Featured a track for each continent and each one had a different ending if you won the race. One of the endings featured an awkward quasi-lesbian moment that was confusing to the 8-year-old me who just wanted to race bikes!
  • Road Rash II – The second best game ever to feature motorcycles. I don’t do my top tens in any particular order (to prevent arguments and personal confusion) but if I did, this would be right near the top. Just behind Road Rash. Seriously EA, please?
  • GTA: Vice City – The first time motorcycles appeared in everyone’s favourite crime-em-up and I spent hours flying off the outdoor steps of the apartment block at the top of the left hand island. Not on the scooters though, those were crap.
  • Mario Kart Wii – They put bikes in this, who knew? My missus says I have to include it and since she puts up with me writing top ten lists in bed at midnight she gets to have her say. Apparently they’re only good if Yoshi is riding them. I know she fully supports my Road Rash campaign really…
  • Metal Gear Solid 4 – That level on the back of the bike. It was good that wasn’t it? The bike was a Triumph Bonneville and it was lovely. Shame the level was all wiggly and I couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo.
  • Tron – Possibly the most famous video-game motorcycle that isn’t. It’s actually a “light-cycle” which draws a solid wall behind it causing your competitor to crash horribly and probably die. They are making a new film (they already made one pretty terrible film years ago which achieved cult status) which is bound to bring out all manner of Flash games in tribute.
  • Road Rash III – I’m not going to give up on this. The third best game featuring motorcycles ever created. If anyone wants all the money I’ve got they should seriously consider remaking this in HD and putting it on the PSN or XBLA (or, preferably, both). I’m buying it. Really.
  • Trials 2 – Another older game which is getting an HD update on the XBLA soon (can anyone think of another motorcycle game deserving of that treatment?). This isn’t about speed, it’s about finesse, balance and timing. I played the old original shareware version on PC for hours and the sequel was like moving into a new age. It had textures on the obstacles.
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