Pandora

This week, the word comes from Raen (or Princess Smiley, as he is known as on weekends)

In Greek mythology (debatably the best kind), Pandora was the first woman, created by Hephaestus and given a box of evils, which I’m assuming isn’t a euphemism for her vagina. Quite why anyone would give someone a box of fucking evil is a little beyond me, but Greek mythology also had a god of the Underworld whose hair was actually fire. At least according to Disney. He was a real hot head.

Interestingly, I can only think of a couple of instances in gaming when the word ‘Pandora’ has related in any way to this lady, and it was only related to her through her box (again, not a euphamism). God of War and Legendary, the former of which needs to no introduction and the latter of which was a slightly mediocre FPS that featured legendary creatures, such as griffins, and werewolves.

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In God of War, you had to find Pandora’s Box for various chaos related reasons (killing Gods, vengeance, that kind of thing, knowing Kratos), whilst in Legendary you attempt to steal it at the very beginning of the game, at which point you open it because you’re clinically retarded. Presumably.

Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow didn’t have any direct relations to Ms. Pandora and her (not a euphemism) box. I assume it was a way of implying the chaos after the opening of the box, which actually makes it a rather clever name. Another use of Pandora in gaming is in Borderlands – the planet you’re on? It’s called Pandora. Now you can play the game with complete knowledge that you are on a planet that is a reference to an Ancient Greek Woman’s box. That one may have been a euphemism.  Oh, Avatar: The planet you’re on is also called Pandora. I can only assume that the blue people are the protectors of her box.

Anyway, don’t we think that using Pandora to signify chaos is getting a little old? We get it, pandora is a cool word, but so is liaison and rendezvous, but I’ve never visited anywhere called Liaison (though it would be a fitting name for a location), nor have I played a game called Rendezvous Yesterday (presumably a time travelling game). Admittedly, there is a bar in town near me called The Rendezvous, but that’s real life, not a game.

So developers/publishers/whoever, stop using ‘pandora’, it’s getting boring. Making something up yourself, it can’t be that hard. How about…Chaotica? No, wait, that’s not really that original. Tatooine? Oh, right, that’s Star Wars. Oh, I know! Pando- oh.

Hey, it’s not my job to come up with the name, you lazy buggers, do it yourself.

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