Final Fantasy XIV Gets ESRB Rated

Final Fantasy XIV has been rated as ‘Teen’ by the ESRB.  Whilst this may not come as a surprise to many, it’s the slightly odd ESRB description that caught my attention.  Maybe my mind is set firmly in the gutter, but when I see things like “stick yer manhood in the forge” I can’t help but smirk a little bit;

“This is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) in which players navigate a large cast of characters that engage in missions and fight the forces of evil. Players explore environments (e.g., cities, plains, caves) and battle human and fantasy creatures.

Players use swords, spears, axes, firearms, and magic spells (e.g., fire balls, energy beams) to defeat enemies in real-time combat. Cutscenes depict a man being stabbed from behind, and creatures emitting splashes of purple or yellow blood when struck.

Some female characters are depicted from low camera angles, with lingering camera views of their buttocks (i.e., up-skirt shots).

Dialogue contains suggestive references; for example, “The netmaster’s probably up in his office polishing the mast just thinking about her,” “stick yer manhood in the forge,” and “You cheating little whore!” Several characters are referred to as drunk or drunken, while others sometimes talk about wine, rum, and grog.

The word “sh*t” can be heard in the dialogue.”

Oh err, sounds a bit like a ‘Carry On’ film doesn’t it?  Is the ESRB focusing on things that aren’t necessarily that important?

Source: Kotaku


  1. We must protect the children from purple and yellow blood Oh and gosh people being drunk tut tut

    • If they play Oblivion they can get red blood.

  2. “Cutscenes depict a man being stabbed from behind” Hahahahaha, sorry

  3. they think that kind of dialogue is a problem? just wait till there are real people playing.

    • nail hit well and truly on the head

    • Agreed lol
      Can’t really put a rating on the “random human element” :P

  4. Hang on, I’m head of Filth and Smut, get yer own niche :)

  5. Won’t someone please think of the children!

  6. Fantastic – he’s probably up polishing his mast thinking about her! Best gaming line ever! Absolutely love it. I like the lingering camera shots up skirt of buttocks too :-) sounds like a porno game.

    • Sounds like Lost Planet 2. Sex sells.

      • especially in japan… dirty pantys anyone O_o

      • No thanks, I’m good ;)

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