Meet the Reader: Mystery Guest

I haven’t sworn yet, you’re ahead of me on that one. So far you’ve unwittingly managed to plug the podcast I’m a regular on, and I haven’t even done that. I’ve been very faithful here. Right, lets move swiftly on, and basically what I want to know is if your family play games like you do? Do they look at you and think “You sad numpty”?

Don’t think my mum or sister do, but I think my brother’s addicted to Call of Duty. I actually, in an attempt to annoy him, gave my honest opinion of CoD, and he just called me names.

Not good names, I assume. Is your brother older or younger?

Just immature names. He’s younger, and I think he wants to join the army because of Call of Duty. The last one that I played was 3, and I’d just got bored of it. I picked up Modern Wafare, and a lot of people are going to hate me for this, but I got bored of it in 20 minutes. Please don’t kill me, TSA!

What’s this, the multiplayer?

No, just the entire game!

Oh, wow, that’s quite impressive. I mean, I’m not a big fan of Call of Duty, it doesn’t do much for me, but with the single player of Modern Warfare, I regard that as some of the finest FPS gaming to have ever existed. What’s nice is that you’ve sat there and thought “You know what, this is a bit boring.” which just teaches us that we’ve got very different personalities. There’s games out there for you, games for me, and sometimes we can’t agree on something.

Well, if only people could just realise that, instead of going “My game’s better than yours! Yeah? Your mum!” It’s just pathetic.

So many conversations I want to start from that, but I’ll behave. Right, so lets hit the genres, since we’re talking about FPS games. Where does your heart sit with the genres? The one you just really love, where if there’s an article about them you just want it to be something good. What’s your favourite?

I’d say RPGs, though I am willing to take a dip in every genre. I’m not a big fan of FPS, since every shooter just seems to want to be Call of Duty. It’s mainly because I’m a big sucker for a good story and a good soundtrack in games. What I’d rather developers do is focus on the story, and then just make sure the gameplay at least decent. Screw the graphics! I hope one day, the graphics will be so good, they’ll be sitting in meetings going “Oh, hang on. We can’t top this. How are we going to outsell that other game?”

We’ll get there one day, hopefully. What is the most embarrassing game you’ve ever player? I will accept, “Dressing up my sister’s Barbie doll and going on a date with it.”

Haha! Um, I’m trying to think. I don’t really think I’ve played any embarrassing games.

No Hannah Montana? No Terminator: Salvation?

Nope, I wouldn’t touch them with a 10′ barge pole! I only get my games because I like them, not because of easy trophies.

You say it like you’re having a little go at people for that.

I just don’t get why people are buying a game, just to get a virtual trophy. I’m pretty sure nobody really bought Terminator thinking “Oh, this is pretty good!”

I suppose there’s a few people. I mean, you’ve got fans of the franchises and genres who’ll go into with a positive attitude. Duke Nukem‘s a good example of that. Lots of people are buying it, and most people will hopefully agree with the industry.

I think it’s just for the nostalgia.

Exactly. That puts on an extra few points out of 10 on their score, or they just don’t care, as it’s a nostalgia trip for them.

Speaking of Duke Nukem, I know why it’s failed, and it’s because they kept on changing it. I’ve seen the 1998 and 2001 trailers, and I was thinking it was ahead of its time. Had it been released it back then, it’d be considered a classic, but unfortunately for some reason they delayed it for so long.

You might find too, there just wasn’t that much confidence with bringing it back to the gaming world after so many years, and that’s part of why it changed hands. That happens a lot with films where there’s not much confidence in it, and then the project changes hands. They’ve given it their best shot, though.

Hopefully Duke Nukem can make a glorious return when they do a next game. Just wipe the slate clean and try to improve on it.

I’m with you on that one, but I think people might be a bit cynical after Duke Nukem Forever, so they’ll have a lot more convincing to do to win people back over. Lets move on from Duke. Are there any articles on TSA that you’re particularly enjoying?

I enjoy the Meet the Staff articles. Basically all the Meet the Thingy style articles, and also basically anything under Features and Blogs.

That’s interesting, so you really like the more personal touch, where we get to know a bit more about the people within TSA, and their personal opinions.

I do also like TSA’s unique twist on the news, because it’s written by normal gamers, they know what they think of the news and can put it in the articles.

Yes, I think they really bring something fresh to it, and keep the quality high. Enough of me buttering them up, well, having said that the next is quite a scary question. I’ve got 3 options for you, and they’re about the OMM podcast. We’ve got Peter (ColossalBlue), Lewis Gaston, and Kris (Halbpro). I want to know what your choices would be for Snog, Civil Partnership and Smother.

Erm, no comment?

The interview stops here, unless you answer properly. Though, to be honest, if you give me £10, you can have a pillow big enough to kill the lot of them!

I’ll take ColossalBlue as a Snog, for running one of the best sites on the internet…

That’s lovely, because he’ll be listening to this and thinking “Oh, I get a kiss.” A bit of man love for running the site. I like that, but lets move on to the Civil Partnership.

Oh God.

Tell you what, lets come at it from choosing who to Smother instead.

Erm, Lewis Gaston. Teach him to leave TSA!

Ah, poor Lewis. Are you smothering him to put him out of his pain? So that leaves you with Kris for the Civil Partnership, is it just you don’t want to kill him quite as much?

Basically, it’s just because he does a lot for TSA, and if I really wanted I could just knock him out for a while and play around with TSA.

I thought you were going to say “Knock him up” and have little Kris-babies, but that’s actually a clever tactic. Settle down with him, but really it’s just so you can fiddle around with all the TSA articles with your mucky fingers. I think that very neatly brings us to the end of our interview, I hope everyone’s enjoyed themselves, and all that’s left to do is to reveal who I’ve been speaking to.

I’m sure many of you have worked it out, and plenty attached concrete blocks to their feet and taken a trip to the nearest pier. For those that stuck it out, I’ve been talking to Solid Steven.

That’s a wrap! Thanks for coming along and getting to know Steven a little better. He also came up with the proposal for this series of articles, so credit where it’s due. We’ll be back to normal service next week, I hope to see you then.