News Snatch: Another Massive Assassin’s Creed III Patch And Crap Dancing

Who on Earth writes the patch notes for Assassin’s Creed III? “This patch is due out by the end of next week and designed to optimize your player experience.” Optimise your player experience? AGAIN? We know games have bugs you could at least be honest about it and call them bugs – although with 120 fixes in the latest patch you really should be apologising for launching such a product that’s not quite finished. For the full notes (warning: spoilers) click here.

More patch news, Activision has released a new fix for the PS3 version of Call Of Duty: Black Ops II. The patch is to fix “lock-up/freeze issues” although the developers note “We are aware that some customers are still experiencing PS3 lock-ups after installing the patch.” Good work Activision!


Good news – for me at least – the PlayStation 3 is about to get a horizontal scrolling shoot’em up. The genre is sorely lacking on the console, I did have the PS3 version of Gradius on order when it was announced as a launch title but it was quietly cancelled by Capcom. Filling the Gradius/R-Type shaped hole on the Sony consoles will be the gorgeous Sine Mora which will land on the EU PSN this Wednesday, check out the trailer below.

The Wii U launch has got off to a bumpy start with a Neogaf poster claiming to have hacked into Miiverse. Well, by hacked we mean “pressed a load of buttons and somehow managed to find a debug console.” Nintendo has quickly restricted his account but not before he had a good nose around the admin profiles and hidden forums.

It has also been revealed that the Wii U will not get the latest ‘Omega’ DLC for Mass Effect 3. According to BioWare the DLC is “double the size of the largest DLC we’ve done for Mass Effect 3”.

As resident homo, I am legally obliged to tell you that the Human Rights Campaign has awarded EA a 100 per cent rating in its LGBT workplace equality report. Obviously they did not take into account the atrocious dancing by the gay version of Shepherd in Mass Effect 3. If EA want to accurately represent the LGTB community then the least they could do is hire a motion capture artist who can Vogue.

Simon Pegg has confirmed his appearence in the forthcoming Star Trek game. “Trek levity in celebration of completing my contribution to the awesome new Star Trek video game this morning. Looks absolutely epic!!” he tweeted.

The end is nigh for 2012 which can only mean one thing – endless lists of games ranked in order of how super-duper they were. Amazon are first off the mark with Journey bagging the top spot, surprising entries are for Gravity Rush and Lumines on Vita which land at 12 and 19 respectively.

The end of the year also spawns the annual Spike TV Two Hour Trailer Marathon which apperently has awards as well, although it is hard to spot them as last year half of them were given out off camera. This year’s ceremony will be hosted by Samuel L. Jackson who suprsingly has not been shoe horned into the “Best performance by a human male” category. That is a rather specific category, “human male”, is that to make sure we don’t vote for the motion captured donkey in Black Ops 2?

Linkin Park will be performing ‘Castle of Glass’ as featured in ‘Medal of Honor: Warfighter’ and the tune is conveniently nominated in the “Best Song” category. I wonder if they will win? (Hint: Yes).



  1. I came here expecting to see a horse robbing a car with a baseball bat, it seems I have been misinformed.

    • That wil be in Trailer Park at the end of the week.

  2. Hope they release a patch for AC liberation my God that game need serious looking at & it would be great if they get rid of that so called MP

  3. Sine Mora looks amazing.

  4. I read this article, not looking to see who had written it and half way through I just knew it was tuffcub.

    ‘Optimise your player experience? AGAIN? We know games have bugs you could at least be honest about it and call them bugs’


  5. AC3 needs to have its side quests sorted out in addition to that patch as I have completed all the delivery requests n every delivery man has disappeared but it’s saying I only have 66% complete so I can no longer achieve 100 % dna tracker for the game..

    • I had that with the Theives quests but returned to New York and some of the little orphans collared me again and gave me new challenges to do. Ive not started the courier stuff yet though

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