News Snatch: Warning! Do Not Microwave Your PS3!

Happy New Year everyone!

Over the past few days many developers and companies have ‘teased big things’ for 2013. Let’s stop and think about that for the moment, when has ‘being teased’ ever been a pleasurable experience? Never, that’s when.

Despite what Fifty Shades Of Grey may imply, having your [CENSORED] teased with a [CENSORED] is only pleasurable for about thirty seconds and then it becomes downright annoying.

Enough with the teasing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zt_DFmwxqJM

We start with a trailer for Activision’s shootery version of The Walking Dead. It’s… uhm… brown and not very shootery. Perhaps the rather excellent Telltale game had given us unreasonable expectations, this is after all an Activision game based on a licensed property and bar the odd Spidey/Transformers game, tie-ins are universally rubbish (see: Family Guy).

Polytron have announced that Fez will be ported to ‘other platforms’. Exactly which platforms has not been specified but they are probably platforms that have minimal patching costs.

Good news for our Antipodean chums as Australia now has an 18+ games rating and some games that were previously unavailable to adults can go on sale. However games that are obscenely violent, sexually explicit or depict drug use will still be banned which makes having an 18+ rating a bit pointless.  Max Payne 3, Mortal Kombat and Far Cry 3 will still be on the ban list for depicting drugs, violence and drugs, sex and violence (way to go, Far Cry 3!).

It looks like the mini games previously only found on the Journey Collector’s Edition may be landing in the EU as PEGI has rated Gravediggers and Duke War. Perhaps a ‘Game Of The Year’ edition of Journey is in the works for Europe?

PEGI have also rated ‘Kite Fight‘ which is to be published by Sony, a remake of a PS2 game developed in India by Gameshastra who are also listed as developers for the new title. The game was originally part of a compilation entitled ‘Desi Adda:Games of India’ and this is the blurb from the PS2 version:

‘In India people fly kites to cut other kites. Specially made threads, mostly coated with fine powdered glass, are used for the kite fight. Kites are made from colored paper and are available in various shapes. Two teams compete with each other for higher scores, by touching or capturing the players of the opponent team. Each team consists of 12 players, of which seven are on court at a time, and five in reserve. The two teams fight for higher scores, alternating defence and offense.’

Gaming royalty Jeff Minter has reduced the price of Super Ox Wars on iOS to zero pence for today. Described as ‘classic vertical scrolling shooter action at its finest’ you can tickle this link to download it.

Ubisoft continue their assault on Hollywood and are now pitching for a Ghost Recon movie, something that was heavily hinted at when I went to see their short film of the game down at BAFTA. Chief executive of Ubisoft Motion Pictures, Jean-Julien Baronnet, has also revealed that anyone waiting for the Assassin’s Creed and Splinter Cell movies are going to be disappointed as both films are ‘to come out no earlier than late 2014.’

Zynga have killed off another studio, orginally a joint venture between the publisher and mobile developers Softbank, Zynga Japan shut shop on December 31st.

Capcom will not be porting any old games to the Wii U. “With regard to Wii U, in general we’re looking forward, not back so late ports are generally not on the table,” said Senior Vice-President Christian Svensson

Discussions were held with Sony to bring Baldur’s Gate: Enhanced Edition to PS3 but have been scrapped. ‘We talked with Sony about #BGEE for #PS3,’ Tweeted Trent Oster, Creative Director for the game, ‘In the end, the rework to keep the fun and fix the control / UI for console was just too much.’

For some reason an number of websites have decided that the PS3 Skyrim DLC will be released before the end of January despite there being no evidence to back up these claims. I suggest you do not get your hopes up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kx3zW_K2rQA#at=301

And finally, Sony have advised gamers against microwaving their console. Yes, really.

“Of the defective products received by Sony, we have detected on some rare occasions evident changes in the shape of the unit and even burn marks that can only be assumed to have been brought about by the use of an electrical appliance such as a hairdryer or microwave. Heating up your game console leads not only to a defective unit but also creates the risk of a fire or even serious injury.”