News Snatch: Warning! Do Not Microwave Your PS3!

Happy New Year everyone!

Over the past few days many developers and companies have ‘teased big things’ for 2013. Let’s stop and think about that for the moment, when has ‘being teased’ ever been a pleasurable experience? Never, that’s when.


Despite what Fifty Shades Of Grey may imply, having your [CENSORED] teased with a [CENSORED] is only pleasurable for about thirty seconds and then it becomes downright annoying.

Enough with the teasing!

We start with a trailer for Activision’s shootery version of The Walking Dead. It’s… uhm… brown and not very shootery. Perhaps the rather excellent Telltale game had given us unreasonable expectations, this is after all an Activision game based on a licensed property and bar the odd Spidey/Transformers game, tie-ins are universally rubbish (see: Family Guy).

Polytron have announced that Fez will be ported to ‘other platforms’. Exactly which platforms has not been specified but they are probably platforms that have minimal patching costs.

Good news for our Antipodean chums as Australia now has an 18+ games rating and some games that were previously unavailable to adults can go on sale. However games that are obscenely violent, sexually explicit or depict drug use will still be banned which makes having an 18+ rating a bit pointless.  Max Payne 3, Mortal Kombat and Far Cry 3 will still be on the ban list for depicting drugs, violence and drugs, sex and violence (way to go, Far Cry 3!).

It looks like the mini games previously only found on the Journey Collector’s Edition may be landing in the EU as PEGI has rated Gravediggers and Duke War. Perhaps a ‘Game Of The Year’ edition of Journey is in the works for Europe?

PEGI have also rated ‘Kite Fight‘ which is to be published by Sony, a remake of a PS2 game developed in India by Gameshastra who are also listed as developers for the new title. The game was originally part of a compilation entitled ‘Desi Adda:Games of India’ and this is the blurb from the PS2 version:

‘In India people fly kites to cut other kites. Specially made threads, mostly coated with fine powdered glass, are used for the kite fight. Kites are made from colored paper and are available in various shapes. Two teams compete with each other for higher scores, by touching or capturing the players of the opponent team. Each team consists of 12 players, of which seven are on court at a time, and five in reserve. The two teams fight for higher scores, alternating defence and offense.’

Gaming royalty Jeff Minter has reduced the price of Super Ox Wars on iOS to zero pence for today. Described as ‘classic vertical scrolling shooter action at its finest’ you can tickle this link to download it.

Ubisoft continue their assault on Hollywood and are now pitching for a Ghost Recon movie, something that was heavily hinted at when I went to see their short film of the game down at BAFTA. Chief executive of Ubisoft Motion Pictures, Jean-Julien Baronnet, has also revealed that anyone waiting for the Assassin’s Creed and Splinter Cell movies are going to be disappointed as both films are ‘to come out no earlier than late 2014.’

Zynga have killed off another studio, orginally a joint venture between the publisher and mobile developers Softbank, Zynga Japan shut shop on December 31st.

Capcom will not be porting any old games to the Wii U. “With regard to Wii U, in general we’re looking forward, not back so late ports are generally not on the table,” said Senior Vice-President Christian Svensson

Discussions were held with Sony to bring Baldur’s Gate: Enhanced Edition to PS3 but have been scrapped. ‘We talked with Sony about #BGEE for #PS3,’ Tweeted Trent Oster, Creative Director for the game, ‘In the end, the rework to keep the fun and fix the control / UI for console was just too much.’

For some reason an number of websites have decided that the PS3 Skyrim DLC will be released before the end of January despite there being no evidence to back up these claims. I suggest you do not get your hopes up.

And finally, Sony have advised gamers against microwaving their console. Yes, really.

“Of the defective products received by Sony, we have detected on some rare occasions evident changes in the shape of the unit and even burn marks that can only be assumed to have been brought about by the use of an electrical appliance such as a hairdryer or microwave. Heating up your game console leads not only to a defective unit but also creates the risk of a fire or even serious injury.”



  1. I don’t think I can watch it. I started too, but not the original, can burn the others for all I care, but not the black breauty, it’s where it all began.

    • You can’t see the melting, so you didn’t miss much :) Is it true there’s a phatty model that can be repaired by sticking it in the oven upside down for a quick stint? This thing I hear but believe I do not.

      • I believe it was taking the board out of the fatty and heating it up in the oven, not the whole thing. As said, a temporary thing to get the save files out.

      • I heated my old phat up with a hairdryer to get the save files off it when it YLOD’d.
        It did work but I’ve not used it since I backed up because I got myself a new slim, so no idea how long the ‘fix’ lasts

    • Maybe I’m having an odd day but, I just can’t see the point in zapping a PS3 and a controller. The segment at the end where the chap connects them up and makes up some rubbish tune is just scary, tied up by a hill billy in a log cabin scary.

  2. The walking dead game looks like a bad mod at the moment. Can’t believe how much screen tear there is too!

    • Terrible screen tear, terrible frame rate.

      Also features: Magical gliding down ladders and Alien Rotating Grass (watch the section at the start, when the camera spin the tufty grass does not and stays facing the camera, something I thought we left behind years ago).

      And they are probably the least scaring looking zombies ever.

  3. Aaaarrrgggghhhhhhh run for your lives its a monster. (points to the video at the bottom and runs)

  4. That walking dead trailer looked horrible, looked like the game was running on about 10fps.

    • Atrocious looking, eh? Although, taking every ounce of sound FX out of it kills the atmosphere so you’re left with something that appears truly pathetic.

      Telltale Games must be physically laughing at this charade of a title. Hope Activision improve it soon… a lot.

  5. Walking Dead game looks awful! I have it down for worst game of 2013.

  6. That melting the PS3 vid has got to be the weirdest thing I’ve seen. The bloke and his heavy breathing make it sound like he’s getting his jolly’s.

    What a weird chap i say.

    • at the end he loses it with sound effects.

  7. speak for yourself TC my [CENSORED] loves a bit of [CENSORED]. ^_^

    and that Walking Dead game looked very mediocre indeed.

    i’m not sure i want to watch that microwaving a ps3 video if that thumbnail is any indication. O_O

    • its a monster hazelam, please get it right.

  8. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Walking Dead Game is just a cheap downloadable title for about a tenner, but then thats seems a fiver too much by the look of it. I guess its still early days.

    • This is Activision, same publisher that made Angry Birds a £30 retail game. This will definitely be a retail game.

      • Fair point – Seeming they can’t convincingly slash a zombies head open I doubt they’ll convincingly slash the price either.

  9. Who mircowaves a console? Who does that? Did someone think to themselves, yeah i like it but it needs a few minutes in the mircowave before i’ll touch it again?

    Suspect Walking Dead with either be a L4D clone, a COD clone or a half arsed game that gets shoved out with little to no marketing, then Acti will wonder why it’s bombed then blame the market.

    So let me get this straight, GTA and MP3 are banned in Australia but Far Cry 3 is not? Which features a sex scene, drugs, violence, drugs,violence, punching sharks to death,beating up crocs,drugs,more violence and more drugs.

    • What the hell is a mircowave? I can understand making that mistake once, but twice? Disgraceful.

      Also I’m sure FC3 is banned isn’t it?

  10. Walking Dead looks absolute crap. Dull, boring and looks very much pre pre-alpha lol.

    Though what the hell is with the 10fps? I can’t stand people who say that kind of thing when its running about 20~25 frames. Seriously does anyone know what 10 FPS looks like because its damn unplayable; your eyes can’t keep track of the image and I can safely say that the video can be kept track of enough to provoke disgust at Activision’s shoddy work. But seriously: 10?

    The PS3 can be a collectors item as it looks just like the story book out of Soul Sacrafice: alien eyes on the front :P

    • I do, but only because I have played Skyrim on PS3 :)

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