News Snatch: Zombie Batman And Killzone Penis Slicing

We begin with a new video of PS Vita exclusive Killzone Mercenary which shows how you can stab enemies in the neck, stab them in the back, stab them in the eye or if you’re feeling really evil, slice their penis in half, perform a jaunty spin of the knife then stab them in the top of the head.

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Hello! I’m a rather aging developer, you may remember I made a bloody good game back in the 1990s which you spent whole weekends playing, much to the annoyance of your mother who constantly told you to “turn off that bloody computer and get some sunshine”. I have a new Kickstarter for a game that looks close enough to my old hit to generate a glowy feeling of nostalgia but with updated graphics and other such whizz-buggery. 

Sound familiar? After Molyneux (Godus / Populus), Braben (Elite / Elite Dangerous) and Roberts (Wing Commander / Star Citizen) it’s the turn of Lord British a.k.a. Richard Garriott, creator of the Ultima series. His Kickstarter is for Shroud of the Avatar, “the first installment of Richard’s new vision and represents the reinvention of the classic, fantasy role-playing which he pioneered.”

If this trend is to continue can we have a Kickstarter for The Bitmap Brothers Collection HD please? Speedball 2, Xenon 2 and The Chaos Engine, that’s all I ask.


Award yourselves a firm pat on the back and celebratory cup of tea for being bloody awesome.

Yes, you.

I posted the first in the series of videos examining the roles of women in video games on Friday, as did many other sites. You lot made sensible comments but the visitors to other sites were less than gentlemanly, for example:

“Well excuse me princess! its just a game,” said one such commentor. “There are women who need help in reality, you should loosen up and enjoy life, and count urself lucky ur not being beaten/raped by some big ass hairy mofo.”

Lovely. Anyway, well done you lot, very proud.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QG4JLhcpqp0#!

Zombie Batman. I don’t think I need to add anything else.


That mad bloke from Microsoft who said that nobody would know about PS4 may be reconsidering his words as the PlayStation 4 ‘Be the First to Know’ video has been viewed over 26.3 million times making it the most clicked advert on YouTube.


EA have registered a load of domains for Plants vs Zombies Adventure, expect an announcement shortly. It may involve Plants, quite possibly Zombies too, probably having an adventure.


Quick, hide all the Move controllers! The PS4 makes Suda51 “horny”.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ghA94z2LZME#!

And finally, some colourful and super smooth footage from Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix which will be coming to Europe later this year.

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18 Comments

  1. “and that makes me horny”

  2. Tuffcub, you are still staying on the naughty step if that was an attempt to sweettalk us into letting off it. ;) I can’t believe someone would say that. It just goes to show that the TSA community are mostly decent people. Mostly. ;)

    I don’t think i will be conformtable playing KM.
    Oh, another kickstarter, erm… yay?

    Zombie Batman?! I pity the poor barsteward who bumps into him as Batman always win, even when he is not involved, he always wins. ALWAYS!

  3. TSA, feminist friendly since 2007! Well, I say friendly…

    • but not in the way that is legal. Or safe for work. ;)

    • Nothing I do to Hannypoppie is in anyway “friendly”.

      • Feel free to elaborate, it’s a just culture around here.

      • I think what he does to Hanny is not even safe to call NSFW. :O

      • Agreed. It’s simply NS with me around. :)

  4. Big thumbs up for a Bitmap Brothers collection, even just an HD version of Brutal Deluxe would do. I’m very cautious of Unjustice. Mortal Kombat but with DC characters? And maybe they should leave off promoting the DLC until after the game is released? They’re just setting themselves up for “Why wasn’t it on the disc?” and “Release day DLC sucks” style comments.

    • Bitmap Brother’s Magic Pockets!!!!!

      (Not a euphemism…)

      Loved that game.

  5. There’s also a second instance where a dad has switched out the gender or character of the lead in a game for his daughter.

    Last year one father delved into LoZ:Wind Waker and changed the dialogue so that it said “milady” instead of “my lad” or “master”, fitting the lack of any real male characteristics on Link.

    Then, just this last week it popped up that a dad had switched out Mario for Pauline in a NES version of Donkey Kong for his daughter. Genius.

    http://youtu.be/JeXDNg7scyU

  6. Chaos Engine HD = YES YES YES YES FROM ME!!!!

  7. Lovely stuff, fella.

    I have to say, there’s oodles of “old” games that could benefit from a HD remake and popping into the likes of the PS Store (and Steam, etc). Hell, I’m waiting for a good Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance this generation. Torchlight II was close but still no cigar.

    • I have a remix of Megablast just waiting to be used on a HD remix :)

      • I’ll never forget when Tomorrow’s World demo’d Q Sound and played a bit of ‘Xenon 2 Megablast’ with Tim Simenon’s Megablast sounding nothing short of stunning.

        Someone’s got it on YouTube, much to my delight.

  8. Killzone Mercenary is looking so good! Can’t wait!

  9. a bitmap collection?

    yes please.

    what was that steampunk shooter they made?
    Chaos Engine wasn’t it?
    a new version of that with twin stick controls would be fantastic.

    and people questioned the need for a series like Tropes VS Women. o_O
    i imagine, or at least hope, that guy was trying to be all ironic and funny.
    but actually, he just comes off as a dick.

  10. I have many a memory of playing speedball with my brother… And then when he kept beating me I would throw a hissy fit and punch him, but if he hit me I’d go running to mummy and tell on him. Thus earning him face time with a shouty father…. Being the youngest was great…

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