Gamescom is currently happening over in Cologne so that means just one thing: Lots of people making smutty comments about getting German sausage inside them. Oh, and video games, them as well. First up is fifty – count ’em, fifty – minutes of Final Fantasy XV. There are almost certainly spoilers, so be careful.
Staying with Square Enix’s epic game, it has been revealed that owl-in-a-windtunnel songstress Florence and her chums, + Machine, are providing three songs for the game. And I am using the term “songs” very losely, if it’s anything like her previous efforts you can probably get the same effect by listening to some foxes copulating inside in a rattly dustbin.
Battlezone for PlayStation VR is coming out as a boxed product, published by Sony.
Here’s the team from Bungie taking a good look at Destiny: Rise of Iron.
Smug gits in Overwatch will find Blizzard have curbed their cheek. Eurogamer notes that anyone who types “gg ez”, which is apparently short code for ‘easy game, you suck’, will find the text be automatically translated in to one of these phrases.
- I feel very, very small… please hold me…
- It’s past my bedtime. Please don’t tell my mommy.
- I’m wrestling with some insecurity issues in my life but thank you for playing with me.
- I’m trying to be a nicer person. It’s hard, but I’m trying, guys
Here’s a video featuring, uh, Uncharted 4. Not sure why it’s been released now, but here it is.
That Mr. Robot game that Telltale were teasing? It is an actual thing, but not what you were expecting. Mr. Robot:1.51exfiltrati0n, for that is its ridiculous name, is a text adventure created by Night School Studio, the chaps behind Oxenfree, and it’s available now for iOS and Android.
A short trailer for Runic Games’ Hob, which doesn’t explain much at all. C-, must try harder.
The PS Vita is still very much a thing in Japan, and it’s getting two special editions to celebrate World of Final Fantasy.
I’m rather liking the look of Alice VR which is coming to PC VR devices in September.
This is Cartoon Network: Battle Crashers which is coming to PS4. I have no idea who any of these characters are.
And Finally, visitors to Gamescom will be able to try a special device which emits farts in to their nostrils while playing South Park: The Fractured But Whole. Delightful!