News Snatch: Street Fighter V, Mass Effect Andromeda, And John Cena

Hello Snatchling, are you ready for this evening? I have four friends coming over and we’re going to take turns having a toss, and the biggest tosser gets to eat it all! Pancake day, such fun! Anyway, on to the games and if you are one the few people still playing Street Fighter V then Kolin is about to join the roster.
Staying with Street Fighter, a new character has been added to Street Fighter II. It’s ,uhm, a Toyota.

Having previously been only available on the Windows game store thing, Dead Rising 4 will be getting a Steam release on 14th March, 2017. The digital Steam release is available to pre-order from today with 20% off and includes the X-Fists Exo Suit Weapon. After launch the game will then cost you £39.99 / €59.99.

Horizon Zero Dawn – out tomorrow, squeee! – has a couple of references to Death Stranding including a replica of the necklace worn by Norman Reedus in the first trailer.

Here’s more of Swamp Thing from Injustice 2.

Nintendo Switch has a “boost” mode, according to Digital Foundry.

Developers can opt for a 384MHz GPU clock – a straight 25 per cent uplift in compute power compared to the default 307.2MHz option. Both frequencies are available to developers in what it calls ‘normal mode’ operation – and to be clear, users will not be able to choose between them.

Mass Effect Andromeda
includes full nudity. If this excites you then 1) Stop it and 2) There’s this thing called Pornhub, give it a try.

It’s also been revealed that you can buy fourteen official Mass Effect Andromeda cards for Cards Against Humanity. They are, of course, all about sexy stuff.

You – yes you, pay attention – can pre-order the Yooka-Laylee soundtrack on vinyl. If you do purchase it remember to by some quinoa and cinnamon scented beard oil at the same time, you hipster.

Americans! Forget about your terrible President by buying ten games on Xbox One from Curve Digital for just $20, a saving of over $80!

This is Death Mark which is coming to PS Vita in Japan.

John Cena, off of punching people, has got his hands on a Nintendo Switch and has shared his thoughts. “I’m floored by the technology of the Switch, and the versatility of the console is second to none,” said a carefully written statement by Nintendo that had been wafted under Cena’s management along with a cheque with a lot of numbers on it.

Wait, sorry, I mean, Cena said that. Yes. Him. He said it.

“It really is a home console that you can take anywhere,” added Cena.”I’ve seen situations where home consoles can be transported, and it’s like a big over-the-shoulder carry-on bag, but the versatility of this thing is groundbreaking.”

Clearly John Cena has never seen a PS Vita or a 3DS. Or a Gameboy. Or Atari Lynx. Or a PSP.

“When you undock the Switch from its home console and go into the handheld, the controller feels the same, it is the same, and it reacts the same,” adds John.

Well maybe that’s because it is the same? It doesn’t morph into a donkey when you undock it you know, it’s still the same thing you picked up. Maybe you got hit in the head a bit too much, John.

“The screen on the undocked handheld system is big enough to be its own world but small enough to carry anywhere.”

Yep, absolutely, definitely a quote from John and not Nintendo PR.
And Finally, and staying the world of celebrity endorsements, Usian Bolt has joined Skull team in Pokémon Sun and Moon.

Written by
News Editor, very inappropriate, probs fancies your dad.


  1. Squee indeed! I keep checking the countdown timer for Horizon on the PS4 despite knowing full well it’s not time yet!
    Looks like I won’t be sleeping tonight.

  2. As if it’s not bad enough clogging up vinyl pressing plants with another 10,000 copies of Adele for Sainsburys…

  3. No Cena,not only can we see you but we can also hear you.Too many donkey punches to the head.

  4. I was playing street fighter V until I became massively frustrated by the cheap cpu opponents on survival mode. BAH!

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