So here’s the thing: I’ve written over 5,000 articles for TSA, most of them have been news and most of the time they are about games I know something about. On occasion there maybe a game I an unfamiliar with, but with bit of research combined with some expert blagging and I can get away with writing about almost anything, even FIFA.
However, it’s Christmas so I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel for news today, and as everyone else is winding down for the holiday season (read: not doing any work) I thought I would join in the general lethargy and not make any effort. So, lets take a look at some games.
This is Atelier Lydie & Suelle, which sounds like the names of two precocious children you would find shopping with their mother in the Notting Hill branch of Waitrose, loudly complaining that the Star Anis is not organic. It seems to be a Japanese RPG, we can tell that from the boobs and stats on screen, and also because boys are rather androgynous.
Next up is Freedom Planet 2. Was there a Freedom Planet 1? If there was it was not on my radar. It seems to be a retro platformer with more than a hint of Sonic about it. I like the giant green ninja chicken boss battle but that’s about it. This is almost certainly coming to Switch because Switch is the new PS Vita and every indie game, like, evs, is being released on it.
Finally we have Fist of the North Star and I admit I have heard of this before because I remember writing about the PS3 game eight years ago. In the trailer a man who has been abusing steroids punches a lot of people who have also been at the ‘roids, before smashing a huge block of ice until it forms a perfectly spherical ice ball for his drink. That’s shows he’s posh, posh people don’t use ice cubes they have ice spheres because they cool the drink faster and melts less.
Anyway, back to the trailer and there is a quick interlude where he poses with some ladies in evening wear before the action returns and he is seen whacking some bikers with a girder. Then there is a section featuring SEGA Master System console and a game of roulette before our hero is seen walking away whilst his enemies clothes fall off, their boobs bulge and then they explode. Shock twist: They are all male!