The top five most f*ckable buildings in Call of Duty

Bandwagons, we love them. Recently we have seen a video game site publish a list of the sexiest Pokémon and just the other day another site decided to list the most f*ckable dragons in Spyro Reignited Trilogy. We’ve spotted a trend here and we’re all for it, so we present to you the sexiest, horniest, down right filthiest mofo buildings from the Call of Duty series. Phwooar!

This hotel from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered


We start with a right stunner. This hotel was originally almost cube shaped, but had a little work done and has beefed up the rear with a chunky extension. We’re all for natural beauty, but sometimes a little reconstruction can help as it has here. The dimple-esque satelite dishes on the roof are super cute, but it’s the impressively girthy radio tower out the front that gets our juices going. Woof woof!

This refinery from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2


This magnificent structure is situated in the middle of the Rust map and has two connecting pipes for your pleasure. The large tunnel in the foreground is thrusting into the sand, just waiting for your to clamber on it, and this tower is up for anything with multiple entry points. While not as aesthetically pleasing as some buildings found in the franchise, we’re valuing raw animal magnetism over good looks. That said, it does have a lovely tan from all the desert sunshine.

The dam from Call of Duty: Black Ops 4


Not everyone likes firm, square corners and we’re here to celebrate all building types, so for those who like a little more cushion for the pushin’ we present this curvaceous, flirtatious hydro dam! Located in the north-eastern corner of the original Blackout map this beauty is a free spirit who can handle up to a hundred horndogs at once. We’re not here to judge someone else’s life choices, it’s 2019, you have as many partners as you want!

Unfortunately recent events have put dearest hydro out of action as it was quite literally split down the middle. Perhaps 100 players all at once was a little ambitious?

This tower from Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare


Do we need to say anything at all? Just look at that impressive tower. The size. The width. The length. That’s going to put a smile on anybody’s face!

These two towers from Call of Duty: Finest Hour


Age is but a number, and so our final building comes from the first Call of Duty for consoles, Call of Duty: Finest Hour. These magnificent mounds may be roughly textured and lacking definition, but they’ve got that smouldering old school sexiness and the invitingly lit tunnel situated between them is begging for your armed forces to penetrate. Just remember to caress the curvaceous humps before you do so; foreplay is just as important as gunplay!

So ends our list of the most shaggable COD constructions, we hope you have enjoyed it and we really hope we’ve killed off this trend. No one should be thinking about cunnilingus with Charizard or sexing up Spyro, it’s just not right. Please stop it. Thanks.

Written by
News Editor, very inappropriate, probs fancies your dad.

3 Comments

  1. Personally feel that the clown Funhaus from the Modern Warfare 2 DLC should’ve made the cut.

  2. ok then

  3. There are some articles that, purely from the headline, you can tell are written by TC.

    This is a great example.

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