“Well it wouldn’t be E3 without some awful Just Dance promotion” I scoffed on the TSA slack chat. What would it be this year? Dancing aubergines? Usher smothered in yoghurt, hanging from window? Whatever, it’s bound to be rub… OYMYGODITSTODRICKHALL! SQUEEE!
Ubisoft have created a “major partnership” with the singer, rapper, actor, director, choreographer, and social media personality Todrick Hall for a Just Dance version of Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels. The song has new lyrics which have been written for the game, probably because Ubisoft don’t want six year old kids bopping around the lounge singing “Pussy puss, puss give them c**t, c**t, c**t, bitch”.
Todrick will also be recording a new video for the new version of the song and Just Dance 2022. Through two voting sessions on Twitter you will be able to select the four coaches who will appear in the video of Nails Hair Hips Heels (Just Dance version).
Oh yeah there’s a new game as well, Just Dance 2022, but it’s going to be be the same as Just Dance 2021 isn’t it? Ubisoft really don’t seem to be interested in the game at all, the Just Dance 2022 reveal including precisely zero seconds of footage of the game. None. Nothing. Nada. Not a sausage. The game will include 40 new songs “from chart-topping hits to great classics!”, none of which have been revealed.
The only song we have confirmed is Nails, Hair Hips, Heels, which you can watch below and get practising your hip swivels and tongue pops. Todrick has just released his new album which includes a unofficially sequel to “it’s Raining Man” and it’s super gay and a bit of a bop.
Just Dance 2022 will launch on November 4th and will include a free 1-month trail of Just Dance Unlimited is included with every copy of Just Dance 2022 on Nintendo Switch, PS4, PS5, Xbox Series X|S, Xbox One, and Stadia. Raise a glass for the Nintendo Wii as there will not a version of the game for that console this year.