The last Call of Duty game I played properly, and by that I mean I finished the campaign and spent hundreds of hours in the multiplayer was Modern Warfare. No, not that one from a few years ago, the original one on PS3. Since then I have dabbled, usually because the previous year’s COD ends up on PlayStation Plus somehow, but never really played any of the recent games for any length of time.
So, it was out of character for me to spend most of last weekend playing the Modern Warfare 4 beta, which everyone can now check out this weekend. Firstly, let me just say it was rather fun. In terms of entertainment, it delivers – good work, developers – but where did any sense of realism go? MW4 is the most video-gamey video game I have played in a very long time.
Let’s start with friction. Friction, and more specifically kinetic friction, is the resistance between two surfaces that stops one object moving across another, slowing them down to a stop. Kinetic Friction does not exist in Modern Warfare 4. No matter what you are running across, be it rough concrete, grass, or splinter-filled wooden pallets, your fighter can slide a great distance on his buttocks. You can do it as much as you like. Want to butt slide halfway across the map? Do it! It’s like a slip’n’slide party out there!
You got those kevlar slidey pants on, Cap?
Presumably every fighter in the game has Kevlar trousers, but then that doesn’t make sense as you can still be shot, and if you do bite the dust your character falls to the ground like they are in a cartoon, their guns and ammo going ‘boing’ and magically shooting out of your corpse.
Jumping in video games has always been unrealistic – who can forget the ridiculous leaps that Nathan Drake and Lara Croft make? – but what is surprising is that MW4 fighters can bounce around like Mario on acid, chaining jumps and slides together so that, from a distance, it looks like someone has dropped fire ants in their pants.
What I find incredulous is that the jumping in MW4 is faster than my Guardian in Destiny 2, and he has rocket power boots to help him cover distances.
Mantling is also taken at speed, the gun in your hands magically vanishing in milliseconds, and your weighed down warfighter suddenly being on top of the crate in the blink of an eye. Also, you can sprint endlessly. Probably not for long, as you usually get shot in about 20 seconds, but you could totally beat Usain Bolt in a race.
If you could hover a camera over the MW4 map, all you would see is human-shaped characters bouncing, bobbing and sliding around like the b-boys in a Rock Steady Crew video.
I should also point out that all the characters are basically Resident Evil 5 Chris Redfield levels of jacked and absolutely cannot scratch their own butts due to the bulging muscles. How these behemoths of man meat can skip around like Louie Spence is a mystery. I know men this size and they’re so inflexible they can’t tie their own shoes, let alone jump.
What is surprising is that apparently a lot of work has gone into the TTK (Time to kill) calculations, and all the weapons seem meaty and realistic. It’s such a strange contrast to the movement of players, which is about as convincing as Jared Leto’s accent in House of Gucci.
My experience with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 4 is that it is utterly ridiculous. It’s fun, but very, very silly, and for me personally, the acrobatics are rather jarring.
You can check it out for yourself this weekend, with the Modern Warfare Open Beta starting later today for everyone. You can even play it on Switch 2, if you want to.
