Sigh. It’s that time of the month, when the figures from all the massive big shops in America roll in and tell us what we’ll be using to power our fanboy rants for the next 30 days. Sure, we don’t include the Wii anymore, but the whole ‘passing phase’ meme is clearly bullshit, the damned thing is here to stay as long as housewives and children want minigames to play. So the fact that it sold nearly half a million machines in Yank last month is irrelevant. Right? Then let’s move on.
But then, look, here’s the Xbox 360, which for the first time in 3 years and 17 days has sold more than the PS3, albeit about 10,000 more, according to the NPD. This is an American thing, we think, and whilst it’s absolutely fine to dance around like pixies smashed on coke when the PS3 sells well, the reverse isn’t true. We won’t do it. Besides, we wouldn’t be able to cope with the wrath of anyone drifting over from ThreeSpeech with their pubes in a twist about some demo or beta or something.
So, whilst the news will create a 100 page thread on GAF within the hour, our rosey cheeks will have to contend with Sony’s spin on the subject and the timely but probably humourous follow-up on UKR when the guys wake up from their hangover-fuelled slumber. Sony, you’re doing it wrong: gamers look like this now, apparently – stop pretending the World’s going to fall in love with a fucking sack and start making us think that playing PS3 will make us stunningly attractive instead.
We actually know people that take this sort of thing seriously. There will be people this weekend that tell us, over a sneaky shandy, that the Xbox 360 sold more in America last month than the PS3. Like they’ve got shares or other vested interest – maybe you get an extra Gamerpoint each time you gloat. But we’re not bitter, we’ll be lying wasted in a gutter beside an empty bottle of Buckfast and a copy of OPM, wondering where it all went wrong.
And if it’s ever going to be right again.