TSA Fixes: Burnout Paradise

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That’s right, another new weekly TSA feature. Each week we will pick a different game and explain how it could be fixed. Perhaps that’s a little harsh, these games won’t necessarily be broken, just glaring issues that would ultimately improve the overall gaming experience if put right. We kick it off this week with the much loved Burnout Paradise.

1. Streamline the front end

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Adding reams and reams of free content to Burnout is wonderful; however if the additions mean another button push and a further twenty seconds before I can actually play the game then you’re doing something wrong. It now takes about two minutes and seven button presses to get started. This was not the case when I bought the game, now change it back!

2. Change that song now!

I’ve always loved the Burnout soundtracks, ever since my love of the game blossomed back with Point of Impact. Paradise is no exception, with an awesome selection of tracks perfect for high speed street racing and destructive carnage. I like Guns N’ Roses, but after booting the game up for the thousandth time, it does begin to grate. I don’t care that I’m in Paradise city, change that song before I go mental!

3. Mix up the camera

Crashing is as important to Burnout as jazzles are to a good selection of Pic’n’Mix. With the game’s remarkable quality of turning every infuriating crash into a glorious vista of twisted metal and glowing sparks, I enjoy watching my car fly over my head with excellent camera work from some of the world’s most fearless camera men. I know I wouldn’t want a crumpled wreckage of a car flying over my head whilst being yelled at by the Director to get a ‘good shot’, but did it ever occur to anyone to perhaps try a few new things. Perhaps some intense shaking, colour selection, depth of field, fish eye, anything just to mix it up a little bit more.

4. Stop it with the expensive DLC

You gave us new online modes, you gave us bikes, and you gave us night-time and weather, all of which were superb. Then the premium DLC rolls along and I was almost certain I would buy it all. Then you announced the price and everything changed; eight quid for a new mode or a selection of new cars; are you kidding? Sorry Criterion, as much as I love Burnout I can’t warrant spending the price of a full retail game on all of the DLC. Make it a fairer price and watch the sales fly.

5. Give me back Crash Mode

Now I know that there is Showtime mode, but it’s not Crash Mode and it’s not Multiplayer. All I want is the original version of Crash Mode that we all came to love, bring it back.

What would you change about Burnout Paradise?

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