GW: Gamer Habitats

Way back at the start of our Guest Writer features we had a great piece from Hannes_Truce about Gamer Species. I was really excited when I got a sequel in my inbox and I’ve rushed it through quality control (my scatty brain) to get it to you as soon as possible. Prepare to be amused, possibly insulted (although it’s all in good fun) and enthralled by the wit and perception on display. Thanks Hannes, more please?!

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Gamer Habitat.

Following on from my recent article documenting the species that inhabit our unique world, i have decided to write a short study of the habitat itself, and the different locations where you can observe the all the species. Once again the following contains broad generalisations and may offend:

These are the virtual habitats- these are a set of areas frequented from within the ‘real world’ habitats (a place where a gamer of any species will interact with his or her console). The real world habitats have not been documented here as they are too numerous to effectively study.

The Forum

The forum contains the most diverse range of inhabitants and you may see anything from the trophy whore to the Fanboy roaming it’s pages. A vast Eco-system in which ‘Mods’ police the actions of it’s inhabitants.

Mods mainly consist of a variety of different species that frequent a certain forum for a long period of time. The creators of the forum will then allow the mods certain policing privileges such as banning Fanboys and deleting comments that offend or may vary from the majorities views.

Rumors, a disease which commonly plagues most species in this habitat are rife in certain forums and may spread quickly throughout different forums. The symptoms of these ‘rumors’ are exasperated sighing, over excitement, angry ranting and arguing, although the latter symptoms mainly manifest themselves in the fanboy species.

Although the forum can seem a scary and dangerous place at first, the different species will often settle in and live in relative harmony with each other. It is not unusual to see certain members become aggressive and try to assert dominance through the rituals of spamming, however most forum Mods will not tolerate this for long and will either ban or kill the offenders, the absence of whom is not missed for long.

The forum is the recommended space for observing the species and their mannerisms as it is possible and relatively simple to ‘lurk’ without being spotted. Much of what is known about all the species has been learned from studies conducted in forums.

The Trophy/ Achievement guide

Similar to the forums and often within a forum the Trophy or Achievement guide is created to assist fellow gamers (mainly of the trophy whore species) in hunting for elusive silverware. The ‘TAG’ is often written by either experienced trophy whores or members of the geek species and whilst they seem to be there to help other gamers they are in fact a way for the creator to assert dominance and show off.

Twitter

Whilst a Twitter is a habitat which is frequented by species outside the gamer universe, it is not uncommon to find a huge diversity of gamers in this environment. It seems to be particularly useful for the geek species who are often know to follow (or stalk) games publishers and developers in the vain hope that they will learn of something before anyone else, which they will then use to gain credit in one or more ‘Forums’ (failing this they have sometimes been known to engineer the ‘rumor’ virus).

One species not yet encountered in the Twitter habitat is the fanboy. It is thought that the species does not get on with twitter due to the ease with which they are ignored.

Home

A strange place where gamers create a virtual copy of themselves (often not accurate) and interact with other gamers. Little is known about this environment as it is exclusively inhabited by gamers, however it seems that gamers tend to spend approximately 55 minutes at a time here trying to obtain exclusive virtual items to decorate their virtual homes.

The virtual items seem to serve little or no purpose and it is not known how any gamer can spend 55 minutes here other than to disguise themselves as a lady and parade around chatting up men.

A female colleague of mine recently attempted to study a variety of species in this habitat, however could not spend more than 3 minutes studying before several male gamers approached her and started a mating dance, saying things like ‘nice tits’ and ‘can i roger you?’. When she inquired as to the identity and whereabout of this ‘Roger’ she was greeted with abuse and accused of being male. needless to say the study was fruitless.

I hope this article has given the reader a clearer idea of the main habitats which the gamer will frequent and might help you in observing this fascinating creature.

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