GW: Game Ideas

Yet another brilliantly observed and funny piece for Guest Writer by Hannes_Truce. This time he’s letting us all know what goes on in those stuffy rooms when people are pitching ideas for games.

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Have you ever wondered how much better a game might have turned out if the original pitch had been done differently? Or wondered why certain things in games are how they are? Or where ideas come from? Let me explain:

Game idea 1: Pitched by a rather twitchy character with long scruffy hair

‘Ok so your pitch as I understand it is based on your own life?’

‘That’s correct’

‘Ok so shoot’

‘So my friend Ray was working in his garage recently rewiring some electrics when his ear stud got caught on a live wire and he was electrocuted. I was there at the time and managed to pull Ray away from the electrics; however his ear was pretty fried and kind of just fell off.

When I went to pick it up and put it on ice it must’ve still had some current in it and I got electrocuted myself. A bizarre turn of events you might think, but that’s not the strangest part.

Since the incident I’ve found that I can manipulate electricity, which I can tell you is playing havoc with my hair. I can light those little disposable lighters with my finger, I can pee on electric fences with no repercussions and I can have a bath and blow dry my hair at the same time without having to worry about killing myself. The only bad thing is that for some reason since the incident I have an irrational fear of chain link fences, can’t climb them at all no matter how hard I try.

So my idea for a game is based on the above. You may want to exaggerate my ‘powers’ a little bit but I definitely think you should keep the cause of it all as Ray’s ear.

Game idea 2: Pitched by a man in a cheap suit

‘Ok what’s your idea?’

‘I think a game of the film Terminator Salvation would be great.’

‘No’

Game idea 3: Pitched by a small man and a rather rotund lady (to be polite)

‘You seem an odd couple’

‘We’re here to talk about games’

‘Oh yes sorry, fire away’

‘Ok so Princess here is an avid gamer and has played countless multiplayer games. She particularly enjoys the capture the flag game mode in a large variety of games but has recently been feeling like the characters in the games are not a good representation of how real people look. They’re normally of medium height, medium to muscular build.

You can see why we are disgruntled, there are no short or larger people in these games.’

‘Tell him about the cake’

‘Yes I’m getting to that. Princess also feels that there is not enough cake in games’

‘I see…’

Game idea 4: Pitched by a woman in a cheap suit

‘Ok what’s your idea?’

‘I think a game of the film Hannah Montana the Movie would be great.’

‘No’

Game idea 5: Pitched by a woman

‘So your idea is for a first person shooter, but on rooftops?’

‘No, no, no. It’s a game in the first person perspective, and you can pick up guns and shoot, but it’s actually a free running game. You basically go from point A to point B via rooftops and us unfeasible climbing and jumping skills. Then you can do it again and try to beat your time.’

‘Are there enemies?’

‘Yes’

‘Do they shoot at you?’

‘Yes’

‘And you can shoot back?’

‘If you pick up one of their guns, yes.’

‘So it’s a first person shooter, but on rooftops?’

‘No.’

‘I don’t really get it but carry on…’

‘So anyway, you free run across rooftops, occasionally stopping to shoot people, but mainly it’s about the running’

‘So how do you know where you’re going?’

‘Red paint.’

‘Red paint?’

‘Yes, you paint the bits you can run on and jump off of red’

‘The guns red?’

‘No, just girders and boxes and the such’

‘We’ll get back to you’

Game idea 6: Pitched by two men in cheap suits

‘Ok what’s your idea?’

‘I think a game of the film…’

‘No’

If you are wondering about any other games and how they were pitched, feel free to ask in the comments. I’ll see what I can find out for you….

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