Lunchtime Discussion: Reality Warp

My work load is currently attempting to kill me, but I was taking the time to write a post on the topic below. However, as I was finishing off my first paragraph I had the following arrive from Xero_Zero, the rather lovely woman in my life. I feel bad for not writing this myself, but I’m still snowed under.

So I guess this all stems from watching Mock The Week with Raen the other night. You might have seen it on the TV in the week but having been taken ill with the flu and various other bits and pieces I found myself watching it on his laptop under a very warm duvet. What’s this got to do with gaming you might ask? Not an awful lot, except that Dara Ó Briain said some sort of offhand comment that went along the lines of (and I’m just paraphrasing here): It’d be much more interesting if we Mario’d it up and had some sort of side scrolling platform action going on.

This got me thinking, and bear in mind I’m not one to think of games an awful lot. What would it be like if things really did get Mario’d up? What if performing some sort of simple task such as getting a snack from the kitchen involved head butting a bunch of suspended question mark boxes and stamping on some Koopas before you could get the chocolaty treat. I’d lose a hell of a lot of weight that way, that’s for certain.


This inevitably led to the discussion of ‘What game characteristics would you want in real life?’Again, I’m not sure I’m entirely qualified to talk about this; I’m an English graduate, pretty much bottom of the barrel as far as degrees go and I don’t tend to play games. I live in a land of retro Kula World madness and the occasional fight on Dark World suits me down to the ground. However, there are things that even I can admit would be pretty damn useful, should I have the opportunity to make them spring to life from games.

I would love to be able to control time in a Prince of Persia (heck even a Braid) kind of way. The ability for me to be able to grab a few extra hours in which I can complete lesson plans (yeah that’s right I’m training to be the gamers’ mortal enemy – the teacher) and what not, or even catch a few more hours sleep would be so unbelievably useful I might even kill for it. I’d also love to have the quick build ability of any of the Lego characters, though presumably I’d have to have unlocked a real life cheat for that and just trying to comprehend that makes my brain hurt. On the fun and frolics side of things though, I’d dredge up my guilty pleasure of gaming and beg for Disney World Quest Magical Racing to be brought to life. Personally it would be absolutely hilarious to pull up alongside some chavtastic idiot in Hook’s pirate ship, drag race them at the lights only to fire Chip N Dale’s homing acorns at them if they beat me.

Now the logistics of this are pretty grainy, I mean, we’d have to allocate certain areas to certain games or you’d have people jumping roof tops like they were Mario only to be shot down by someone going all Gears of War, but that’s beside the point. If it were possible to make any game come to life, what would you choose?