News Snatch Special Report

Back for a one off special edition, it’s News Snatch! Taking a look at gaming news and poking it with a big stick called ‘sarcasm’. Three big stories today, strap yourself in Mavis, it’s going to be a rollercoaster of breaking news.

Warning: Excessive use of exclamation marks from this point forward! You have been warned!


Hackproof PS3 on the way!

News arrives via brand new website EverythingHQ that a hackproof PS3 is in the works. Call me Susan but I thought the last PS3 was meant to be hack-proof so I’m not sure how a new version can be any more hack-proof  – unless the PS3 is encased in titanium. Nevertheless, EverythingHQ reports

‘According to what I have been told by an anonymous source Sony are already deep into plans of developing a hack-proof PS3 system. This is mainly due to the recent leaks of Killzone 3 which has worried Sony of their console becoming a mainstream threat to piracy.

The hack-proof SKU will be a slim PlayStation 3 model and will contain a 300GB hard drive as an incentive to purchase the hack-proof system – the price of the SKU will be £186.99, my source informs me. The scheduled launch is unsure at this time due to Sony seeing if they can win the battle in the courts against the root of all the PS3 hacks – George Hotz.’

What a hot tip from the Anonymous! Sony will be releasing a new a SKU at some point in the future. Just not now. But it will be ‘hack proof’, a bit like the current PS3 was ‘hack proof’, but different.

Resident Evil 6 will be timed PS3 exclusive!

Yet another hot news item from the team at EverythingHQ, just how do they do it? The anonymous news source reports once more:

Sony have already reportedly offered Capcom a fee which they are believed to be considering; the deal, if approved by the developer, will see Resident Evil 6 be a PlayStation 3 exclusive for at least half-a-year to a year; the contract is still reportedly under approval by Capcom so the length of the deal has yet to be confirmed.

Cor! Resident Evil 6 hasn’t even been announced and it’s already a timed PS3 exclusive! Wowzers! But remember – this deal has yet to be signed so Resident Evil 6 could be a multiformat release with no timed exclusives at all. If that does happen then Sony obviously didn’t get round to signing this contract for the timed exclusivity. I’m sure that’s what all the other websites who reported this news will say.

Microsoft paid George Hotz to hack the PS3!

OMGWTFBBQ?!?! Over to the reporter on the spot, it’s the ever so reliable Anonymous at EverythingHQ:

Microsoft may have played a huge part in GeoHot getting the fees he needed to defend himself against Sony in court.
The information comes from a source close to the matter who must remain anonymous that in an attempt to help George win his case, and thus making it legal to hack the PlayStation 3, the company anonymously donated a large lump of cash so he could cover his court fees; remember: only 2 days had passed after Hotz requested the money and then received all of the money.

One again Anonymous shows us just how powerful he/she is. He/she has to stay anonymous or else George will lose his court battle so sadly we will never get to meet the source, congratulate him/her on his/her awesome news gathering skills and verify the story.

EverythingHQ back up the report that as Microsoft have asked George to hack the Windows 7 phone, paying for his court fees is a ‘shrewd move’, obviously if he is in jail he can’t hack anything.

If you would like to read more news from ‘Anonymous’ that cannot be verified in any way and always has a clause just in case the news turns out to be false, look elsewhere on the internet.

You won’t find TSA reporting it.

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18 Comments

  1. LMAO. Good to see something good came from EverythingHQ.

  2. Haha! Great to see News Snatch once again. Brilliant stuff. :D

  3. Nice of you to show the fine people of TSA your snatch once more TC. Gotta say I went to the website after it was posted in the forums. It’s all pretty much bollocks isn’t it…

  4. These are headlines used to create attention/hits to websites that want to give publicity to their associates and/or advertisers + promoters/sponsors/ end rant….

  5. crazy news lol.

  6. I remember these articles :) They were fun :P

  7. lol this is awesome.

  8. The worst thing about all this? That rather more substantial websites picked up and ran with these… Bonkers.

    • you mean some games sites won’t check their stories before printing them?

      i don’t believe it. o_O

    • LMAO!!!

    • Even MacNewsWorld are running it now.

  9. I have also spoke to “Anon” and He/She has confirmed/denied the existence of the NGP2. You read it here first. It’ll be twice as powerful as the PS3.5 (hackproof). I would email this tip but I’m afraid Sony are watching all me correspondence.

    • The same ‘Anon’ told me that Firmware 4.01 will have backwards compatibility with original Xbox games.

    • HE/She told me that the new “hack free ps3” will have a built in toaster and will have Kevin Butler’s voice.:P

  10. I heard the everythingHQ is being run by the stonemasons and George dubya Bush

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