Over 2 Million Killed By Giant Purple Schlong In Saints Row: The Third

News is a bit slow this time of year. With all the year’s major releases already on store shelves and no big titles about to launch, there isn’t a ton of riveting gaming news to bring you.

So what do we do when that happens? We tell you about the two million people killed by a giant purple dildo named ‘the Penetrator’ in Saints Row: The Third.

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Just yesterday, the guys and gals over at Volition rattled off a few quick stats on the Saints Row website, collected from gamer’s time with Saints Row: The Third. While the others aren’t quite as entertaining to read about, they all have their own entertainment value.

  • 5.8 billion citizens of Steelport have met their demise while roaming around town. That’s 19 times the population of the US, or 85% of the population of the world.
  • Players have spent a cumulative 2 years in their birthday suits streaking the streets of Steelport and making old ladies scream.
  • In Whored Mode, 44 million pimps, gimps, and prostitutes have been dispatched.
  • 650 hot dog mascots have been overcooked to death by players using flamethrowers.

Interesting stuff, isn’t it? If you missed it the first time, be sure to check out our very positive review of the third installment in the Saints Row series.

Source: saintsrow.com

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19 Comments

  1. Now this is the kind of news I like to wake up to. Thankyou.

  2. “Whored Mode” – genius.

  3. I guess these are online stats, right? You could probably at least double these stats if you had a possibility to monitor people playing offline. I know I did most of the things that are on that list…

    • It’s stats of everyone who have been online when playing.
      Singleplayer counts as well, if you’re connected to the internet, and logged in.

      Personal stats and leaderboards can be found on saintsrow.com

  4. My stats should be added towards this weekend.
    Looking forward to have some crazy carnage.

  5. So far, Saints Row 3 is the only game that can keep Dark Souls out of my PS3, and DaS is easily my top game of the year. Bring on my weekend, that Death by Purple Schlong stat looks like it needs some bolstering.

    Well dong Volition, well dong.

    • Well dong?

      Was that deliberate or is that just the most appropriate typo of all time? ;)

      • See LoadingReadyRun / DesertBus.org. The appropriateness of it here though made me chortle inside :)

  6. I find it rather a depressing and embarrassing view on gaming and no doubt the Tabloids will lap it up.

    • If Volition cared about that, they would have never made Saint’s Row the way it is now in the first place. I’m glad they are doing it their way and I don’t think we will read about it in the tabloids. The game is so over the top that’s it’s obvious. In contrast, GTA does a much more realistic and mature approach so running over pedestrians seems much more controversial.

    • I find it rather depressing and embarrassing that your view on gaming is so serious. Did you forget to have fun? IT’S A GAME!

      CoD is outselling itself, and those games are much more controversial than Saint’s Row.

      • It is just fun, but we don’t want everyone to think we’re psychopaths that want to beat others to death with a giant dildo…

      • Why not? :P

  7. I have way too many games to play. Stop making me want to buy another.

    • I agree.

      Additonally, if there is any way that someone could add an extra couple of hours to each day so that i couls get more done, it would be most appreciated.

  8. May just have to pick this up when it falls into the bargain bin. Sounds fun

  9. Only 24 more sleeps and it’s mine!

  10. So that what Bmike has been up to then. :p

    I will pick it up when it’s cheap due to this year being very cruel to wallets everywhere. My wallet is an Alcholic now. :p

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