This afternoon, Rockstar let loose the latest little dribble to its ongoing GTA V information rivulet. We got a new image. It’s not a screenshot, although we have had some of those in the past. This was Grand Theft Auto V artwork.
Within moments, of course, myriad news outlets had hit “save as…” and uploaded the image onto their own sites so they could tell the world that the great benefactor had bestowed upon us another little rectangle of colourfully glowing LEDs to gawp at.
As the traffic to the “NEW GTA V IMAGE” story started to tail off, those outlets probably posted a new article that dissected the image. They’ll have told you that it’s not an in-game screenshot. They’ll have pointed out that it retains the same art style we’ve seen in other recent Grand Theft Auto games. They might even have gone as far as to insult your intelligence by pointing out that there’s a couple of rifle-wielding guys wearing orange boiler suits and a van that appears to be engaged in the business of pest control.
The smarter, better staffed of those sites will have scoured over every pixel of the image and noticed things like the bumper sticker that says “Bug R Us” (“bugger us,” geddit?! That’s gloriously filthy) and the building that has signage that says “Anna Rex” (almost like “anorexia.” Fnarr, skinny people!). That’s probably a health club or day spa or something, isn’t it? I can almost guarantee, without looking, that someone, somewhere, used the little aeroplane (or airplane if they happened to be American) and its cute little vapour trail as proof positive that there were jets in this game. Because there hasn’t already been enough indication of that.
If they were on the ball, they’ll have noticed the single line of text that Rockstar added to the image when they posted it. They’ll have teased you, their readers, about the promise of more information next month. Then, when IGN or GameSpot or GameTrailers or GameInformer is given that information, those same sites will hit “save as…” and upload it to their sites so they can fawn over that too.
Don’t get me wrong, I think Rockstar are geniuses with this kind of PR trickle. They’re doing a hell of a job; everyone is talking about it. I also think Grand Theft Auto games are the cat’s pyjamas. I love them. I even love GTA IV and its perpetual bothersome phone calls and lack of the ridiculous humour of some previous GTA games.
But there comes a time when it’s all just something of a depressing circus. When one image isn’t really enough and everyone clamouring over it looks a little bit like an addict gasping for that last hit from a vial that was functionally empty hours ago. And the image isn’t even of the game, it’s a digitally painted scene that hints at what elements of the game might be like.
One image of not-the-game and everyone’s going nuts again. Still, more info next month, eh?
webby_15-0
it looks like the rifles have silencers on them. customizeable weapons perhaps.
hornet1990
TBH I’d be happy with just a black screen containing the logo and a release date below it…
Motalla
I think I pass on this game. The last has high ratings everyone and is a must have. But I have had on my self since it came out and not played more than 10 minutes.
wolf-OF-chaos
I agree, i played gta4 for only 30 minutes but i couldn’t get into it. The thing is i liked gta3 and vice city.
Tuffcub
Even worse it’s an image that’s pretty much in the trailer.
bunimomike
Love the GTA franchise and I find this method of marketing frustrating to say the least. I hesitated to click on the article but wanted to read the comments (as oppose to get excited about the game).
Think I’ll skip things next time.
bunimomike
That’s not to say your comments weren’t all lovely!!! :-)
tonycawley
Shame they don’t go for that art style in the game, I like it!
Really wish I could draw like that!
Forrest_01
Agreed – Looks quite Borderlands-y.
TSBonyman
It also looks like you can open rear van doors independantly of each other and there may even be hats … awesome… ;-)
Even though i inevitably end up tiring of the missions and turn to wrecking/murder sprees i will still probably pick this up as i’m interested in seeing how the series evolves. GTA3 will always be the one that had the biggest impact for me though.
bmg_123
Nice approach to the usually boring analysis!
Kennykazey
The art style isn’t identical to that of IV, it’s more colourful and less grungy looking. Could be sign that Five will have a lighter tone.
Kitch
OMG you missed out something….
LOOK AT THE WEATHER EFFECTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PURE BLUE SKIES.
I bet it rains.