News Snatch: Black Ops 2 Problems And Spin The Bottle

The least exciting day of the year so far.

Scraping

You may have noticed a trailer for GTA V was released yesterday and that meant all other news was cancelled or put on hold. Therefore we have a shorter than normal Snatch, a Snatchette if you like.

On with the news then, starting with Tom Hardy who has signed up to play Sam Fisher in the movie adaption of Ubisoft’s Splinter Cell franchise. “Tom Hardy is currently one of the biggest talents in the film industry, and he has a phenomenal ability to take on complex and varied roles with his broad range of acting skills,” said Jean-Julien Baronnet, CEO of Ubisoft Motion Pictures.

Ubisoft seem to be actively persuing top class talent for their film division, Michael Fassbender is attached to the Assassin’s Creed movie, could they be the first to make a decent film based on a video game?

Booty shaking Beyonce is being sued for $100m by a company you have never heard of  for walking away from a dance game bearing her name, developed by a team that you have never heard of.

Other uninteresting news includes Black Ops 2 having – shock horror – bugs, and that Modern Warfare 4 is rumoured to somehow continue the plot of Modern Warfare 3, despite what happens at the end of that game.

Activision is also getting flak from legions of disgruntled PlayStation 3 gamers who cannot redeem their Nuketown 2025 codes and yet more complaints from people having problems with the multiplayer. “We are aware of connectivity issues that some players are facing in Black Ops II on PlayStation 3. We are working on resolution, thank you.” they tweeted.

Somewhat odd that all the problems are occuring with the PlayStation 3 version of the game, somewhere on the Internet a fanboy is thrashing out conspiracy theories this very second.

And finally… KnapNok Games from Denmark has announced Spin The Bottle for the Wii U. They describe is as an “innocent game for innocent kids”. The less innocent amongst you will probably have a filthy giggle within four seconds of watching the trailer which seems to feature a large bobbing yellow penis and green turd.

12 Comments

  1. Rockstar put a snuke in your snatch.

  2. Spin the Bottle looks amazingly mental. Like Noby Noby Boy’s pubescent cousin.

  3. Can I get some credit for not going on about Tom Hardy and plastering pictures of him across the site? I did research some pictures. A lot of pictures actually, it took most of the morning.

  4. The yellow thing really does seem to enjoy shaking it’s booty. I’m naming it J-LO.

  5. “Somewhat odd that all the problems are occurring with the PlayStation 3 version of the game”
    Before the games get to the P2P hosted bit would the XBL infrastructure be holding up better.
    Couple of years ago the CoD popularity knocked the PSN offline altogether & we had to wait for Japan to wake up to sort out some ‘presence server’ or something, the following release went a bit better in its launch week but there was still problems, until patched or the passing of a few days mean concurrent demand subsided.
    Either way I think they need to beta on PS3 even if it’s a relatively closed private beta.

    • Or they could just stop releasing the games! ;)

      • Where’s the fun in not having a fun game to play every other year? when it’s not IW’s turn

  6. Thank god I don’t play COD, even the Store always crashes when virtually all DLC packs launch.

  7. i can’t say i ever thought of Tom Hardy for Sam Fisher role, but he does seem to be pretty damn versatile so i expect he’ll do a good job.
    the way most game to films go, i expect he’ll be the best thing in the film.

    i wonder who they’ll get to play Desmond in the Creed movie, because that’s going to be the role that’s going to last through multiple movies, if the first is successful anyway.
    assuming they’re actually going to go with the whole animus/genetic memory aspect.
    because Desmond is going to end up being the most important character long term, but for most of the film i imagine he won’t be seen.
    unless they go with the same actor for Desmond and his ancestors.

    and what where they smoking/injecting/snorting when they made that video? o_O

    • I expect Fassbender will play play both Desmond and.. well. Altiar? Ezio? Connor? Whoever..

  8. What I don’t like about Call of Duty and being a PS3 owner is that downloads take ages in this bleeding period, even small games. So annoying. Sort it out Sony. Get servers in Belfast for once.

  9. The grey one looks like more of a penis in my opinion. I can’t not see the large pink head now.

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